United 0 – 2 Cardiff
Thank. Fuck. Here’s the final 5 things we learned from the season that taught us so much without teaching us anything we didn’t already know, or want to know or want to learn about knowing about: 1. Bad luck, Liverpool. 2. I’d rather have no chance of winning the league from the start than have […]
United 3 – 0 Stoke
It was a welcome return to form for Paul Pogba as his two little passes ensured that both Tony V and Martial could not miss their absolute screamers from 20 yards. With Liverpool inflicting the first defeat of City’s momentous title challenge collapse, the only thing that can stand in the way of United and […]
Middlesborough 1 – 3 United
United’s tactics have come under intense scrutiny after their second half display saw them revert to a flat back eleven. For those of you who are new to Association Football, a flat back eleven is kind of like a flat back twelve but without the extra character bought in on the heist and without the […]
Leicester 0 – 3 United
Leicester City are Champions. We beat the Champions. We stay 6th. When did this conspiracy start? Where did it start? How did it start? Where will it end? When will it end? How will it end? Is that enough words for hot content? One more word makes it a round 100 words. Perfect. Here’s […]
FA Cup 4th Round: United 4 – 0 Wigan
I can’t remember the last time I saw a vitally important overhead kick scored with such grace. Oh no wait! … of course, there was the Berba one. I’m sure we’ll see plenty more of that from Basti over the next decade or so, and hopefully beyond. If we’d scored more, the scoreline would have […]
United 1 – 1 Scum
CAPS LOCK AND VARIOUS BUTTONS ON MY COMPUTER HAVE LEGIT GONE TO SHIT> SEND HELP> CAN”T EVEN DO PUNCTUATION> FUCK MY LIFE> Here’s 5 things we learned, which were written before the buttons issue above: 1. Pogba is bad. 2. #Pogba is worse. 3. Hope we long ball our way to next season’s Champions League Final. […]
EL: United 4 – 0 Feyenoord
When Jose Mourinho took the bold decision to throw £30m European Player of the Year 2015/16 Henrikh Mkhitaryan into the starting XI against one of Europe’s averagest clubs, in one of the meaninglessest competitions, few could have envisaged winning the Champions League, F.A Cup and English Premier League Treble, on the very same night!! GGMU!!!! […]
United 1 – 1 Arsenal
Keane and Vieira, Keown and Van Nistelrooy, Wright and Schmeichel, Wenger and Fergie, Wenger and Mourinho, Wenger and Dugout, 8 and 2, Title and Winning at Old Trafford, we gave your boys one hell of a drawing. Here’s 5 things we learned from the latest war, in this war to end all wars in wardom: […]
Liverpool 0 – 0 United
After all the pre-match hype, and all the talking up of the game before it happened, and all the big build up, Liverpool got the 0-0 thrashing they deserved. Paul Pogba once again proved tha haterz have some valid points with regards to his relative value. Ander Herethereandeverywhera more like. Here’s 5 thingzies […]
United 2 – 0 Southampton
“Remember when we won the league after two games. That was today.” Says it all. ‘Says it all’, although integral to the point, and acting somewhat as a qualifier/modifier (delete whichever is somewhere near closest to the appropriate rhetorical device) to the point being made, doesn’t count as an extra sentence, the top sentence stands […]