If we can beat all the top teams, and yet get beaten by all the worst teams, and yet can win, lose, or draw against all the mid-table teams, and still finish se, no I’ve forgotten my etc.

Here’s another 5 things we learned, even if we haven’t learned what the league is called:

1. One of the worst games of the season and we’ve had a fair few to choose from so actually kinda impressive.

2. More like Manchester Divided !!! But seriously, someone should tell them they’re on the same team.

3. The VAR was technically good.

4. I’m glad Brighton stayed up. It would’ve been a shame if they’d been relegated after the promising season they’ve had.

5. Lol jokes. I didn’t even know they were in the premiership until last night.

6. Looking forward to the season review, that’s for sure !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

7. I thought we wouldn’t be looking forward to the season review.

<—–That picture actually matches the narrative. Who’d have thought.

Here’s 5 things we learned:

1. Lukaku is the greatest striker in the history of the sport.

2. Coco is a really lovely, heartwarming film. Pixar, you’ve done it again.

3. Is this Paul?

4. It says ‘Benno’. Right there in orange. Stupid cunt.

5. The second half was better then the first half and that wasn’t good.

6. You’re in orange. Fuck face McFuckface.

(@Benglorious)

There are three things about transfer sagas that I can’t stand:

1. Transfer sagas

United play Burnley today in what the press are calling The Thriller In Manila Or Something Similar. Let’s hope it lives up to the billa Ing.

Prediction:  Goals for both Dyche and Mourinho in a classic stalemate. 0-0 United.

m

 (@tom_mcghee)

I believe I made my position clear last game: no Sanchez no words. Literally the only highlight of this whole boring saga imho.

Burnley, Barnsley, Bolton and Bury are all the same place to me and I’m not even sorry.

Battlestar Galactica (1978/2004)

Can’t remember if I’ve done this before but then nobody else does either and it doesn’t even matter because it has nothing to do with football and all to do with what I was watching last (Battlestar Galactica).

Ignoring the Bonanza years (lol ask yer da), BSG is five seasons of awesome TV. Assuming the creative team behind it are reading this – why wouldn’t they –  here are some great ideas for future spin-offs $1million please:

An imprisoned Cylon serial killer helps a young FBI agent catch another serial killer – Cylonce of the Lambs

A Cylon intergalactic hitchhiker has more adventures in a sequel – Cylon and thanks for all the fish

A tragic tale of doomed romance involving a Cylon woman abandoned by her human lover – Miss Cylon

Thank-you for your time

Prediction:  Mhkitaryan hat-trick. 2-0 United, Sanchez brace

m

(@bifurcated_utd)

There’s another league in the world – it’s not all just EPL this and EPL that – and I am going to enjoy a match between two teams you will have never have heard of because they don’t play in your precious EPL: Bristol Ramblers and Bradford County.

Prediction: Real football. No mind games. No eating worms. No VAR. No diggity. No doubt. 0-0 United.