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	<title>Bifurcated Manchester United &#187; Wikipedia</title>
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		<title>United vs. Brighton</title>
		<link>http://bifurcated.co.uk/manchester-united-chitty-chatty/pregame/united-vs-brighton-2</link>
		<comments>http://bifurcated.co.uk/manchester-united-chitty-chatty/pregame/united-vs-brighton-2#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 19 Jan 2019 12:23:49 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Us]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Predictions]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Pregame]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[AA Road Map]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Albion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Andy Murray]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Batman]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Brighton]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Britain]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Chris Houghton]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Conurbation]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[England]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Glen Murray]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Google Maps]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Heave]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Krypto Superdog]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Leyland Palmer]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Little Spoon]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Lukaku]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mourinho]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Narcs]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[North America]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Ole]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Rashford]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Robin]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Rooney]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Titans]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Wikipedia]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://bifurcated.co.uk/?p=16672</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[m (@Benglorious) It was my job this week to look up what ‘Albion’ meant. So, today we are playing Brighton and Past Tense of Heave England or Britain. No wonder nobody likes them. Prediction: Ole makes it seven out of seven in a seven goal drubbing of poor old Brighton. Mourinho takes the credit. 0 [&#8230;]]]></description>
				<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><img class="aligncenter size-medium wp-image-15882" src="http://bifurcated.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/Acroskaku-300x215.jpg" alt="" width="300" height="215" /></p>
<p><span style="color: #ffffff;">m</span></p>
<h4><img class="wp-image-16595 alignnone" src="http://bifurcated.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/IMG-20181222-WA0006-169x300.jpg" alt="" width="89" height="158" /><strong><a href="https://twitter.com/Benglorious" target="_blank">(@Be</a></strong><strong><a href="https://twitter.com/Benglorious" target="_blank">nglorious</a>)</strong></h4>
<p>It was my job this week to look up what ‘Albion’ meant. So, today we are playing Brighton and Past Tense of Heave England or Britain. No wonder nobody likes them.</p>
<p><strong>Prediction: Ole makes it seven out of seven in a seven goal drubbing of poor old Brighton. Mourinho takes the credit. 0 &#8211; 0 United.</strong></p>
<p><span style="color: #ffffff;">M</span></p>
<h4><a href="http://bifurcated.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2017-02-10-23.14.32-e1486768985713.jpg"><img class=" wp-image-15339 size-full alignnone" src="http://bifurcated.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2017-02-10-23.14.32-e1486768985713.jpg" alt="2017-02-10 23.14.32" width="85" height="151" /></a> (<a href="https://twitter.com/faketaxi" target="_blank">@tom_mcghee</a>)</h4>
<p>Why is my face still Rooney? Who the fuck knows but I&#8217;m pretty sure these two jerkoffs are to blame.</p>
<p>I don&#8217;t know where Brighton &amp; Hove is and I don&#8217;t care to (side note: I had to look up &#8216;to or too&#8217; as I&#8217;m old and had forgotten &#8211; this&#8217;ll happen to you when you hit 40 &#8211; and the first explanation told me &#8216;two&#8217; is also pronounced &#8216;to&#8217; but can&#8217;t be used as it was a number who knew lol)</p>
<p><strong><em>Titans</em> </strong>(2019)</p>
<p>Robin has left batman (he was always the little spoon) and become a police cop. Through his detective cop filth narc work he makes friends with some guys with badass powers (one can turn into a green tiger better camouflage in North America imho) and they have adventures and also Krypto Superdog is in it. I liked it. That aside etc</p>
<p><strong>Prediction: 8-0 to us thats how confident i am rn</strong></p>
<p><span style="color: #ffffff;">MM</span></p>
<h4><img class=" wp-image-16596  alignnone" src="http://bifurcated.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/Snapchat-501272208-169x300.jpg" alt="" width="89" height="151" />(<a href="http://www.twitter.com/bifurcated_utd">@bifurcated_utd</a>)</h4>
<p>Have Hove dropped off the map? This researcher says &#8216;Yes&#8217;. Their Wikipedia page has been deleted. Google Maps fails to find them and the new AA Road map has a blank hole where the once great town of Hove used to be. This conurbation conspiracy goes right to the very top. Chris &#8216;Leland Palmer&#8217; Houghton has some questions to answer. And this researcher won&#8217;t stop untiOh wait&#8230; internet signal had dropped. Wikipedia page is there. And there they are on Google maps. That hole in the AA road map was where I had cut eye holes for my detective work. Drat.</p>
<p><strong>Prediction:</strong><b> Glenn Murray to postpone any goals this week out of respect for Andy Murray. lol cos of last week&#8217;s predictions. 0-0 United.</b></p>
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		<item>
		<title>FAC: Huddersfield vs. United</title>
		<link>http://bifurcated.co.uk/manchester-united-chitty-chatty/pregame/fac-huddersfield-vs-united</link>
		<comments>http://bifurcated.co.uk/manchester-united-chitty-chatty/pregame/fac-huddersfield-vs-united#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 15 Feb 2018 11:23:58 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Us]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Predictions]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Pregame]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Barry Sheerman]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Cloth Hall]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Encyclopaedia]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[EPL]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[FA Cup]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Horbury]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Huddersfield]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Kirklees Council]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Luddite]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Nicholas Harvey]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Outlane]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[River Colne]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[River Holme]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The de Lacy family]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[Wikipedia]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[William Ramsden]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://bifurcated.co.uk/?p=16095</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[&#160; &#160; (@Benglorious) Instead of starring in film trailers or pimping out tractors, I wish our players would sometimes let loose and steal a taxi or dress as a suicide bomber or add their brand to a Flowers of Manchester memorial or even just do a silly dance on Instagram. Football is too money-oriented these [&#8230;]]]></description>
				<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://bifurcated.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/Acrolexis.jpg"><img class="aligncenter wp-image-16107" src="http://bifurcated.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/Acrolexis.jpg" alt="Acrolexis" width="569" height="462" /></a></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<h4><strong><a href="https://twitter.com/Benglorious" target="_blank"><img class="alignnone wp-image-15271 size-full" src="http://bifurcated.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/Photo-27-01-2017-23-05-45-e1485558662486.jpg" alt="" width="60" height="91" />(@Be</a></strong><strong><a href="https://twitter.com/Benglorious" target="_blank">nglorious</a>)</strong></h4>
<p>Instead of starring in film trailers or pimping out tractors, I wish our players would sometimes let loose and steal a taxi or dress as a suicide bomber or add their brand to a Flowers of Manchester memorial or even just do a silly dance on Instagram. Football is too money-oriented these days, proved by our own Paul Pogba spending his entire £465 million salary on haircuts simply to spite Garth Crooks. If he put half as much energy into his game as he did into his Crooks beef, he&#8217;d be nearly as good as Jordan Henderson.</p>
<p><strong>Prediction: Huddersfield to come out fighting thereby getting all their players sent off and the game being abandoned. 3-0 United by default. Easy.</strong></p>
<p><span style="color: #ffffff;">m</span></p>
<h4><a href="http://bifurcated.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2017-02-10-23.14.32-e1486768985713.jpg"><img class="alignnone wp-image-15339 size-full" src="http://bifurcated.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2017-02-10-23.14.32-e1486768985713.jpg" alt="2017-02-10 23.14.32" width="85" height="151" /></a> (<a href="https://twitter.com/faketaxi" target="_blank">@tom_mcghee</a>)</h4>
<div id="mw-content-text" class="mw-content-ltr" dir="ltr" lang="en">
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<p><b>Huddersfield</b> (<span class="nowrap"><span class="IPA nopopups noexcerpt"><a title="Help:IPA/English" href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Help:IPA/English">/<span title="/ˈ/: primary stress follows">ˈ</span><span title="'h' in 'hi'">h</span><span title="/ʌ/: 'u' in 'cut'">ʌ</span><span title="'d' in 'dye'">d</span><span title="/ər/: 'er' in 'letter'">ər</span><span title="'z' in 'zoom'">z</span><span title="/ˌ/: secondary stress follows">ˌ</span><span title="'f' in 'find'">f</span><span title="/iː/: 'ee' in 'fleece'">iː</span><span title="'l' in 'lie'">l</span></a>d</span></span><span class="nowrap"> <span class="IPA nopopups noexcerpt"><a title="Help:IPA/English" href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Help:IPA/English">/<span title="/ˈ/: primary stress follows">ˈ</span><span title="'h' in 'hi'">h</span><span title="/ʊ/: 'oo' in 'foot'">ʊ</span><span title="'d' in 'dye'">d</span><span title="/ə/: 'a' in 'about'">ə</span><span title="'z' in 'zoom'">z</span><span title="/ˌ/: secondary stress follows">ˌ</span><span title="'f' in 'find'">f</span><span title="/iː/: 'ee' in 'fleece'">iː</span><span title="'l' in 'lie'">l</span><span title="'d' in 'dye'">d</span>/</a></span></span>) is a large <a title="Market town" href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Market_town">market town</a> in West Yorkshire, England. It is the 11th largest town in the United Kingdom, with a population of 162,949 at the 2011 census. It lies halfway between <a title="Leeds" href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leeds">Leeds</a> and <a title="Manchester" href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Manchester">Manchester</a> and has the largest frog choir in the country.</p>
<p>Huddersfield is near the confluence of the <a title="River Colne, West Yorkshire" href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/River_Colne,_West_Yorkshire">River Colne</a> and the <a title="River Holme" href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/River_Holme">River Holme</a>. Within the <a title="Historic counties of England" href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Historic_counties_of_England">historic county boundaries</a> of the <a title="West Riding of Yorkshire" href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/West_Riding_of_Yorkshire">West Riding of Yorkshire</a>, it is the largest urban area in the <a title="Metropolitan borough" href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Metropolitan_borough">metropolitan borough</a> of <a title="Kirklees" href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kirklees">Kirklees</a> and the <a title="Administrative centre" href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Administrative_centre">administrative centre</a> of the borough. The town is known for its role in the <a title="Industrial Revolution" href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Industrial_Revolution">Industrial Revolution</a>, and for being the birthplaces of <a title="Rugby league" href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rugby_league">rugby league</a>, <a title="Labour Party (UK)" href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Labour_Party_(UK)">Labour</a> Prime Minister <a title="Harold Wilson" href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harold_Wilson">Harold Wilson</a>, film star <a title="James Mason" href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_Mason">James Mason</a> and Justin Trudeau.</p>
<p>Huddersfield is home to rugby league team <a title="Huddersfield Giants" href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Huddersfield_Giants">Huddersfield Giants</a>, founded in 1895, who play in the European <a title="Super League" href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Super_League">Super League</a>, and <a title="Premier League" href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Premier_League">Premier League</a> <a title="Association football" href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Association_football">football</a> team <a title="Huddersfield Town A.F.C." href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Huddersfield_Town_A.F.C.">Huddersfield Town A.F.C.</a>, founded in 1908. The town is home to the <a title="University of Huddersfield" href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/University_of_Huddersfield">University of Huddersfield</a> and the <a title="Sixth form" href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sixth_form">sixth form</a> colleges <a title="Greenhead College" href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Greenhead_College">Greenhead College</a>, <a title="Kirklees College" href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kirklees_College">Kirklees College</a> and <a title="Huddersfield New College" href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Huddersfield_New_College">Huddersfield New College</a></p>
<p>Huddersfield is a town of <a title="Victorian architecture" href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Victorian_architecture">Victorian architecture</a>. <a title="Huddersfield railway station" href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Huddersfield_railway_station">Huddersfield railway station</a> is a Grade I <a title="Listed building" href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Listed_building">listed building</a> described by <a title="John Betjeman" href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Betjeman">John Betjeman</a> as &#8220;the most splendid station façade in England, if you&#8217;re a cunt&#8221; second only to <a title="St Pancras railway station" href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/St_Pancras_railway_station">St Pancras, London</a>. The station in St George&#8217;s Square was renovated at a cost of £4 million and subsequently won the Cosa Nostra award for European mafiaing.</p>
<h3><span id="Early_history" class="mw-headline">Early history</span></h3>
<p>There has been a settlement in the area for over 4,000 years. The remains of a <a title="Castra" href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Castra">Roman fort</a> were unearthed in the mid 18th century at <a class="mw-redirect" title="Slack Roman fort" href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Slack_Roman_fort">Slack</a> near <a title="Outlane" href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Outlane">Outlane</a>, west of the town. <a title="Castle Hill, Huddersfield" href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Castle_Hill,_Huddersfield">Castle Hill</a>, a major landmark, was the site of an <a title="Iron Age" href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Iron_Age">Iron Age</a> <a class="mw-redirect" title="Hill fort" href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hill_fort">hill fort</a>. Huddersfield was recorded in the <i><a title="Domesday Book" href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Domesday_Book">Domesday Book</a></i> of 1086 as <i>Oderesfelt</i> and <i>Odresfeld</i>. To this day locals tend to pronounce the town&#8217;s name without the initial &#8220;H&#8221;, the ruddy mavericks.</p>
<p>Huddersfield has been a <a title="Market town" href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Market_town">market town</a> since <a title="Anglo-Saxons" href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anglo-Saxons">Anglo-Saxon</a> times. The <a title="Market cross" href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Market_cross">market cross</a> is on Market Place.</p>
<p>The manor of Huddersfield was owned by the <a class="mw-redirect" title="De Lacy family" href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/De_Lacy_family">de Lacy family</a> until 1322, at which it reverted to royal ownership. In 1599, <a class="new" title="William Ramsden (died 1623) (page does not exist)" href="https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=William_Ramsden_(died_1623)&amp;action=edit&amp;redlink=1">William Ramsden</a> bought the manor, and the Ramsden family continued to own the manor, which came to be known as the &#8216;Ramsden Estate&#8217;, until 1920. During their ownership they supported the development of the town, building the Huddersfield Cloth Hall in 1766 and the <a class="mw-redirect" title="Sir John Ramsden's Canal" href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sir_John_Ramsden%27s_Canal">Sir John Ramsden&#8217;s Canal</a> in 1780, and supporting the arrival of the railway arrived in the 1840s.</p>
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<div class="thumbinner"><strong><span id="Industrial_Revolution" class="mw-headline">Industrial Revolution</span></strong></div>
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<p>Huddersfield was a centre of civil unrest during the <a title="Industrial Revolution" href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Industrial_Revolution">Industrial Revolution</a>. In a period where Europe was experiencing frequent wars, where trade had slumped and the crops had failed, many local <a class="mw-redirect" title="Weaver (occupation)" href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Weaver_(occupation)">weavers</a> faced losing their livelihood due to the introduction of machinery in factories. <a title="Luddite" href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Luddite">Luddites</a> began destroying mills and machinery in response; one of the most notorious attacks was on Cartwright – a Huddersfield mill-owner, who had a reputation for cruelty – and his Rawfolds Mill. In his book <i>Rebels Against the Future</i>, <a title="Kirkpatrick Sale" href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kirkpatrick_Sale">Kirkpatrick Sale</a>describes how an army platoon was stationed at Huddersfield to deal with Luddites; at its peak, there were about a thousand soldiers in Huddersfield and ten thousand civilians. In response, Luddites began to focus attacks on nearby towns and villages, which were less well-protected; the largest act of damage that they committed was the destruction of Foster&#8217;s Mill at <a title="Horbury" href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Horbury">Horbury</a> – a village about 10 miles (16 km) east of Huddersfield. The government campaign that crushed the movement was provoked by a murder that took place in Huddersfield. William Horsfall, a mill-owner and a passionate prosecutor of Luddites, was killed in 1812. Although the movement faded out, Parliament began to increase welfare provision for those out of work, and introduce regulations to improve conditions in the mills.</p>
<h3><span id="Political_history" class="mw-headline">Political history </span></h3>
<p>Two Prime Ministers have spent part of their childhood in Huddersfield: <a title="Harold Wilson" href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harold_Wilson">Harold Wilson</a> and <a title="H. H. Asquith" href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/H._H._Asquith">Herbert Asquith</a>. Wilson is commemorated by a statue in front of the railway station whilst Asquith has his own ditch.</p>
<p>The Huddersfield constituency has been represented by Labour MP Barry Sheerman since its creation in 1983 and is considered a safe seat for Labour.</p>
<p>Kirklees Council was the first in the UK to have a <a title="Green Party of England and Wales" href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Green_Party_of_England_and_Wales">Green Party</a> councillor, Nicholas Harvey who was instrumental in protesting against the intended closure of the <a class="mw-redirect" title="Settle and Carlisle Railway" href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Settle_and_Carlisle_Railway">Settle and Carlisle Railway</a> line. The town has substantial Labour <a title="Conservative Party (UK)" href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Conservative_Party_(UK)">Conservative Party</a>, Liberal Democrats and <a class="mw-redirect" title="UKIP" href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/UKIP">UKIP</a> presences.</p>
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<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><strong>Prediction: Who the fuck even cares anymore</strong></p>
<p><span style="color: #ffffff;">m</span></p>
<h4><a href="http://bifurcated.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/brett3-e1471026057469.jpg"><img class=" wp-image-15334 alignnone" src="http://bifurcated.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/IMG-20170208-WA0002-195x300.jpg" alt="" width="87" height="134" /></a>(<a href="http://www.twitter.com/bifurcated_utd">@bifurcated_utd</a>)</h4>
<p>Not content with the obese hiding we gave them in the EPL the other week, Huddersfield are back for more in the FA Cup. If only there was a website akin to an encyclopaedia that Tom could reference to find out more about the Town&#8217;s history.</p>
<p><strong>Prediction: Same result as in the EPL. Unless we lost in the EPL, then the opposite. 0-0 United.</strong></p>
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		<title>United vs. Scum</title>
		<link>http://bifurcated.co.uk/manchester-united-chitty-chatty/pregame/united-vs-scum</link>
		<comments>http://bifurcated.co.uk/manchester-united-chitty-chatty/pregame/united-vs-scum#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 15 Jan 2017 10:38:41 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Us]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Predictions]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[Cantona]]></category>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://bifurcated.co.uk/?p=15182</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[   (@Benglorious) Winning nine matches in a row is lovely and a real morale booster, but eight of those wins were against West Ham and the other one was just Spurs so let&#8217;s not kid ourselves. Today is the real test: Liverpool. Their league position suggests they are ahead of us and they possibly do [&#8230;]]]></description>
				<content:encoded><![CDATA[<h4> <a href="http://bifurcated.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/Fellinna-Ice1.jpg"><img class=" size-large wp-image-15191 aligncenter" src="http://bifurcated.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/Fellinna-Ice1-730x547.jpg" alt="" width="730" height="547" /></a></h4>
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<h4><a href="http://bifurcated.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/Ben-e1471025867865.jpg"><img class=" wp-image-14553 size-full alignnone" src="http://bifurcated.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/Ben-e1471025867865.jpg" alt="Ben" width="90" height="112" /></a> <strong>(<a href="https://twitter.com/Benglorious" target="_blank">@Be</a></strong><strong><a href="https://twitter.com/Benglorious" target="_blank">nglorious</a>)</strong></h4>
<p>Winning nine matches in a row is lovely and a real morale booster, but eight of those wins were against West Ham and the other one was just Spurs so let&#8217;s not kid ourselves. Today is the real test: Liverpool. Their league position suggests they are ahead of us and they possibly do come here as favourites. Liverpool are having a very good season and we will have to do everything we possibly can to beat them.</p>
<p><span style="color: #ffffff;">m</span></p>
<p><strong>Prediction: Tom to get annoyed at his own lack of formatting. Pogba and Ibra to lack match sharpness because they spent too much time clowning around with that clown Henry instead of training. 0-0 United.</strong></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<h4><a href="http://bifurcated.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/mcg-e1471025980306.jpg"><img class=" size-full wp-image-14555 alignnone" src="http://bifurcated.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/mcg-e1471025980306.jpg" alt="mcg" width="90" height="113" /></a> (<a href="https://twitter.com/faketaxi" target="_blank">@tom_mcghee</a>)</h4>
<p>Was gonna attempt a serious effort for this but then remembered everyone in the world does so fucked it off.</p>
<p>Apparently mega-rivals, Liverpool are a team from Merseyside and The Beatles. Their best player is still Steven Gerrard and their manager sure is wacky!! Do you remember that episode of Cracker with Robert Carlyle? That was good. Do you remember that film with Samuel L Jackson wearing a kilt? That was awful (it was set in Liverpool. That&#8217;s the link) Both teams play in red unless one of them is playing away in which case they&#8217;ll wear another colour to help the referee if the home kit is also red, and both teams are highly successful, albeit one more than the other. Their anthem of choice is &#8216;You will never walk on your own&#8217; which is a fucking lie &#8211; sometimes you will i.e. going to the shops, catching a bus.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><em>10 Cloverfield Lane</em> (2015)</p>
<p>John Goodman is a madman with a bunker that he now lives in due to an attack. Watchers of films will know this is an alien attack because of Cloverfield. He has two companions, one a man with a beard and one a lady who he thinks is his daughter, despite her not being that. The not Johns try and escape because John is a madman. OR IS HE?? (he is) One of them does but is then like &#8216;whoa, Aliens?? for realsies?&#8217; but then kills them with whiskey. That aside, pretty good.</p>
<p><span style="color: #ffffff;"> m</span></p>
<p><strong>Prediction: Brett and Benno to be annoyed by my lack of formatting, Pogba to hit 13 posts which summons Shenron (magical dragon. Think Pete&#8217;s but manga) allowing us to bring Cantona and Scholes back. 2-1 United, Ibra taps in Rooney&#8217;s 35yd drive to stop him getting record. Please. </strong></p>
<p><span style="color: #ffffff;">m </span></p>
<h4><a href="http://bifurcated.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/brett3-e1471026057469.jpg"><img class="alignnone size-full wp-image-14556" src="http://bifurcated.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/brett3-e1471026057469.jpg" alt="brett" width="90" height="112" /></a> (<a href="http://www.twitter.com/bifurcated_utd">@ttackattackattack</a>)</h4>
<p>I&#8217;m impressed. Our banter content is at a premium today. And none of the usual repeats of references to The Beatles, or getting the lyrics to &#8216;You&#8217;ll Never Work From Home&#8217; wrong (intentionally). Nothing about Steven Gerrard, Cracker, playing West Ham every week, or both teams playing in Red.</p>
<p>I met Danny Rose last night irl. He doesn&#8217;t read this shit either.</p>
<p><strong>Prediction: According to Wikipedia there are only 4 posts permitted on the pitch at any one time, so unless the posts that are in play at the start of the game are substituted at half-time (another mind-fuck of a concept, that I&#8217;ll have to research later), and then at some other point during the match, then it&#8217;s not only the lack of formatting that Tom is going to be annoyed by. Shin it for the win! Like &#8216;in it for the win&#8217; but Rooney. 0-0 United.</strong></p>
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