Yung Rash

CL: PSG (2) 1 - 3 (0) United

CL: PSG (2) 1 – 3 (0) United

This is one of those all-time greatest great “Where were you..?” moments… So, where were you? We agreed to meet at The Fleece at 6, so we’d get a good seat. I messaged you at 5 and nothing. I messaged you at 5:45; still nothing. I got myself a good seat thanks for asking and […]

Leicester 0 - 1 United

Leicester 0 – 1 United

In memory of the Tree, United scrapped to a tense one goal victory with no plan b. Goodnight sweet branchy cunt. Here’s another 5 things learned: 1. Arsenal are very bad 2. Rashford is very good. 3. Don’t do a preview before anyone else you’re wasting your life.

United 2 - 1 Brighton

United 2 – 1 Brighton

7 is the magic number as the Neneh Cherry ft. Youssou N’Dour and Brad Pitt song goes. What’s with the Neneh Cherry references in the last two weeks? Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. And now you’re gonna believe us… 2. And now you’re gonna believe us… 3. And now you’re gonna belieeeeeeve uuuuuusss… 4. […]

United 4 - 1 Bournemouth

United 4 – 1 Bournemouth

Starting to think sacking Mourinho was a good idea after all. Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. Pretty sure Rashford’s mum and dad are Maradona and Pele 2. Pele definitely not the dad 3. lol because of his limp member 4. lol

United 4 - 1 Fulham

United 4 – 1 Fulham

Not taking any credit for this but my stream was perfect throughout the game, so…   Here’s 5 things we learned as United continued on their voyage of discovering what it feels like to finish 6th in the Premier League table: 1. It is clear now from that one game that Paul Pogba is a […]

Southampton 2 - 2 United

Southampton 2 – 2 United

Not quite the -25 – -25 thriller the finest experts in the land were predicting but the perfectly executed plan to leave Mark Hughes available in the summer when United are looking for a Director of Football to provide the essential guidance Jose Mourinho requires for the remainder of his odyssey…     Here’s 5 […]

United 2 - 1 Leicester

United 2 – 1 Leicester

CHAMPIONEEEES!! CHAMPIONEEEES!!! OLAY!! OLAY!! OLAY!!   That’s right … Mushrooms and Skin Cream. Mushrooms and Skin Cream.   Here’s 5 things we learned (we actually learned 6 things but Brett’s 6th thing was diss on the NHS, so, he is a “bad” “guy”): 1. Winning is definitely better than losing. 2. Ladies and gentleman we […]

United 4 (FOUR) - 0 Crystal Palace

United 4 (FOUR) – 0 Crystal Palace

Autumn is upon us, so, it should come as no surprise that The Tree is performing so strongly. Let’s hope it doesn’t last for three months. Miss hating him with the same venom that we hate each other tbh. R*zero*y H*zero*dgs*zero*n, more like !! L*zero**zero**zero**zero**zero**zero**zero*l !!   Here’s 5 things we have observed from our […]

Swansea 0 - 4 (Four) United

Swansea 0 – 4 (Four) United

With Brett (the maverick one of us) in Poland you would think us two clowns (Tom and Benno) would do this review, but we are massive blends. FOURchester United more like! Here’s FOUR things we learned in honFOUR of FOUR FOURmidable team: 1. I’m not sure how to handle all these goals. 2. It just […]

United 4 (Four) - 0 West Ham

United 4 (Four) – 0 West Ham

We haven’t won the English Premier League on the first day of the season since that great day back in 1966! All the squad can now look forward to taking a well deserved tour of all them countries who haven’t bought enough shirts and that, until next August. Here’s 5 things we learnt/ed: 1. Winning […]

EL Semi Final: Celta Vigo 0 - 1 United

EL Semi Final: Celta Vigo 0 – 1 United

Yung Rash = Paul Daniels. Pretty smalltime of Jose Mourinho to call us out on international TV for never actually managing to highlight 5 things we’ve learned imho. Here’s 5 things we learned, just for Jose: 1. Marcus Rashford is the future of everything (Orange lied to us). 2. Lovely touch having the A-Team playing […]

EL: United 2 (3) - (2) 1 Anderlecht

EL: United 2 (3) – (2) 1 Anderlecht

Another victorious victory at the half way stage of the Europa League tournament; only 743 matches to play until the final, which the players will be relieved to know is only played over 5 legs. Hashtag Rash is Life 4 Life yo! Here’s 5 things we Europa learned: 1. Rasherz with the R3 manoeuvres made […]

Bi-Mark: Footballiversity

Bi-Benno: Where Are They Right Now..?

Bi-Konny: Michael Owen Reads Mean Tweets...

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