Stoke-on-Trent is a unique city affectionately known as The Potteries. With its rich industrial heritage and history, Stoke-on-Trent has respectfully claimed the title of World Capital of Ceramics ( find out from whom and in which competition when/if bothered).
The City boasts many visitor centres, award winning museums, authentic factory tours (authentic factories or tours?!?!), over 25 (OMFG!!) pottery factory shops and the exclusive Staffordshire Hoard (no fucking idea). Come and visit the Trentham Estate with Italian Gardens, Shopping Village, Monkey Forest, and mile long lake (you had me at Monkey Forest and mile long lake. Actually, lose the forest. And the lake. Gimme monkeys).
Opposition Summary: Stoke City Football Club is a Stokish professional stokeball club based in Stoke-on-Trent, Stokefordshire that plays in the Stokier League. They mostly play in broken red shirts.
Prediction: Stoke is near Derby and we battered them so Stoke will be an absolute walkover according to this Geogratistics thing I just made up. That’s right, ladies: geography AND statistics. Please form an orderly queue starting at Brett’s crying, naked body. The second queue can start at that pointing and laughing Tom person. 0-0 United.
Stoke – named after wealthy founder Bram Stoker – are a team of many mischiefs and clay-based shenanigans. But not vampires. Which makes it kinda 1-1. They also have a rich heritage of industrial histories and according to Benno, some kind of Monkey forest. Got to be honest, if this Monkey Forest is real, I might support Stoke. Although this mile long lake sounds a bit needy. Remember when we used to mention the football?
Bram Stoker’s Dracula (1992)
Haven’t seen it. That aside, pretty good
Prediction: Doesn’t matter because everyone is still crying over this Pete Gladiola character. Still, good news about Luke Shaw. 3-0 United. But only in the game I’m watching.
And exactly how does a naked body cry? Good words, words.
Prediction: We’ll weasely beat them cos we’re Stokally unrecognisable from the last time we came together. Getting a little aroused tbh. 0-0 United.