Bi-Tunes: Canvey Island

Friend of Bifurcated and United fan Bettina from Berlin (beebberlin) was in her kitchen, on her laptop, trying  connect to a stream of the United game. When suddenly she noticed that the stream was growing and becoming a river. The river then became a lake. And then the lake became an ocean. The ocean was carrying a […]

United fan Santa (he wears red doesn’t he?!) was on the look out for Christmas spirit to help power his sleigh (or the narrative for those “non-believers”: your uncle/dad/step-dad in a red suit) was handed a first-class ticket to board the Bifurcated Train, so our Canvey Island family could imbue him with their individual Christmas […]

To coincide with the release of the new Class of ’92 documentary film (@classof92film, Class of ’92 DVD) we’re taking six familiar faces, with six all too familiar names to Canvey Island: Giggsy, Scholesy, Butty, Phily, Gary-y and Becky. What?! For this special trip, our Canvey Island family will be sharing the song that defined 1992 […]

United fan, blogger and good friend of Bifurcated Paul Gunning (@PaulGunning1, The Right Irreverend Blogger) was not being Tobey Maguire by double-bluffing and being all Tobey Maguirey on his avatars and such, when Kirsten Dunst burst on set dressed as The Bifurcated Train. Wait! No! It was The Bifurcated Train dressed as Kirsten Dunst. Wait! No! etc… […]

United fan, blogger, and friend of Bifurcated Craig English (@CraigEnglish92, Taught By Matt Busby) was settling down in front of the telly to watch the horse-racing. But just as he reached for the remote he noticed it was looking a little more train-shaped than normal, and not only that, it was about a hundred times […]

United fan and blogger Journo Jess (@Journo_Jess, Journo Jess Blog) was just about to take a picture of Phil Jones down by the touchline, when she noticed his face beginning to stretch a little too much?! Although slightly unnerved she carried on, presuming, as we all would, that this was just normal. But as the shutter closed, […]

New friend of Bifurcated and United fan Josh (@FreshManUtd), who has his own footy site Fresh Man Utd, was marinating his own testicles, in preperation for a feast he’d promised his Twitter followers he’d soon be enjoying, when he was disturbed by a spine chilling tap at the window. It was none other than the […]

We thought this Canvey ‘Goodbye Special’ might coincide with Scholesy saying goodbye; then it was definitely going to coincide with Bifurcated saying goodbye; and now here we are saying goodbye to Fergie AND Scholesy, while Bifurcated is carrying on. Hey! Football Gods!! – you took the wrong ones … come back for us! The conductor […]

Some United fans were feeling a socio-political disconnect with the world and were in need of something tangible, something visceral, something that just might make their life that little bit better. We at Bifurcated thought it only right to introduce them to – if they hadn’t already met – our good friend Awate (@Awate91). The […]

United fan and friend of Bifurcated Chewie (@RoughEstateDate) was logging on to Twitter, when the screen on her phone started to spew out boiling hot cake-mix! Just as it was running down her hand, she woke up … *phew* it was all just a dream. She was about to log on to twitter to tell everyone about said dream, but her phone was now […]

Good friend of Bifurcated Angela Hallmark (@whitepele10) was putting the finishing touches to her OaRtVP submission, when the Grazia magazine on the table next to her flicked open and the pages began to fan quickly, before it flew off the table! Before she could work out what was the hell was going on, the Bifurcated Train appeared (The budget […]