Pregame

EFLC: United vs. Burton Albion

EFLC: United vs. Burton Albion

 @Benglorious) Always preferred Topman myself.   Prediction: Lukaku to deny the Emperor before being saved by his father’s last shred of humanity, the jammy bastard. 4-0 United. m  (@tom_mcghee) Does Liz Taylor know that he’s back from the dead? m Prediction: Goals, goals, goals. Red lips, fingertips. 2-0 United. m (@bifurcated_utd) Can’t believe those two […]

United vs. Everton

United vs. Everton

 @Benglorious) Do you remember when we had Rooney and it was good? Do you also remember when we had Rooney and it was bad? Do you remember the time, when we fell in love? Do you remember the time? Remember the Titans? These are all things that can be remembered. As will Rooney’s winning goal […]

CL: United vs. FC Basel

CL: United vs. FC Basel

Stoke vs. United

Stoke vs. United

 @Benglorious) City 5-0 Liverpool. The prosecution rests, M’Lud.   Prediction: Me to finally realise that prosecution does NOT mean the same as electrocution. Unless it does. Ain’t nobody got no time to check these facts. Lukaku to gain an audience with Jabba by mind-tricking Bib Fortuna who is actually Peter Crouch. 4-0 United. m  (@tom_mcghee) ‘You […]

United vs. Leicester

United vs. Leicester

 @Benglorious) I am at a family barbecue, so I will keep this brief or I will get in serious trouble. Not from my family, from Brett for trying to kill him for the twelfth time this month.   Prediction: McGregor to win by TKO unless Mayweather knocks him the fuck out. Lukaku to travel to […]

Swansea vs. United

Swansea vs. United

 @Benglorious) It’s so much easier to write a decent preview after we’ve won the previous game.   Prediction: Lukaku to continue his development by kissing his sister and then hitting the winner into the exhaust port. 3-1, United  m  (@tom_mcghee) Cannot do words today. I am a conscientious objector over Swansea’s role in Vietnam. Damn them, damn […]

United vs. West Ham

United vs. West Ham

 @Benglorious) It feels like more months than I can count (three, I think) since Chelsea lifted the Premiership League trophy after a hard-fought battle with Tottenham who really, literally, actually, definitely didn’t bottle it, and, in fact, put so much pressure on, the FA considered creating a new trophy just for them before rejecting it […]

EL Final: Ajax vs. United

EL Final: Ajax vs. United

 @Benglorious) *waits to see what tone the other two are going for with their previews* *wanks whilst waiting*       Prediction: United to throw the kitchen sink at Ajax, who send it back glistening because detergent lol. Debut goals for both Marcus and Rashford. 0-0 United.  m  (@tom_mcghee) I’ve got nothing. I lack the […]

United vs. Palace

United vs. Palace

m (@Benglorious) Finally we have come to the final game of the season. No more football after this final game for a whole four years. Or two if you count the Euros. I don’t know about you, but I’m actually looking forward to extra helpings of politics once the football is done. Long live the Queen. […]

Southampton vs United

Southampton vs United

(@Benglorious) Southampton are yet another of those teams that played Sunderland one day and stole their kits. Seriously:  why do so many teams have the same kits? I may be colour-blind, but even I know there’s enough colours in a set of Crayolas for every team to have a different colour shirt. Southampton could easily […]

Tottenham Hotspur vs. United

Tottenham Hotspur vs. United

(@Benglorious) Is the season over yet? Is the season over yet? Is the season over yet? Is the season over yet? Is the season over yet? Is the season over yet? Is the season over yet? Is the season over yet? Is the season over yet? Is the season over yet? Is the season over yet? Is the season over […]

EL Semi Final: United (1) vs. Celta Vigo (0)

EL Semi Final: United (1) vs. Celta Vigo (0)

    (@Benglorious) Tonight is make or break, do or die, dog eat dog, boy meets world, girl on girl, north by northwest for United. The Europa League is our last shot at being big time Charlies this season, but there’s always the chance we will massively balls it up. Well, not even massively knowing […]

Bi-Mark: Footballiversity

Bi-Benno: Where Are They Right Now..?

Bi-Konny: Michael Owen Reads Mean Tweets...

BifOtherStuffted