Predictions

EFL Cup QF: Bristol City vs. United

EFL Cup QF: Bristol City vs. United

  (@Benglorious) YOU SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL TEAM Prediction:  0-0 United. m  (@tom_mcghee) Who the fuck are we playing now? Oh wait is it Brighton? Everyone is moaning about a bottle of wine. Prediction: Why don’t you just bum Julia Caesar? 0-0 United   m (@bifurcated_utd) Hey lads! Think you mean WINEing! Prediction: Might do. The […]

West Brom vs. United

West Brom vs. United

  (@Benglorious) Don’t you live in a hotel with Lenny Henry? Prediction:  0-0 United. m  (@tom_mcghee) I can’t do words because Last Jedi spoilers. Prediction: 0-0 United   m (@bifurcated_utd) Can you two sort your company out? I still have no intercepting in my new flat. Ruddy Virgin’s Media. Prediction: Make me. 0-0 United.

United vs. Bournemouth

United vs. Bournemouth

  (@Benglorious) CORAL.  It’s not televised. Prediction:  0-0 United. m  (@tom_mcghee) Are we on telly tonight? Can’t see it anywhere call bullshit. Blue Planet. It’s why we dressed you as a fish for 6 weeks. Haha I didn’t tell you to do it for the HALIBUT! Prediction: 0-0 United   m (@bifurcated_utd) What programme did […]

United vs. City

United vs. City

CL: United vs. CSKA Moscow

CL: United vs. CSKA Moscow

  (@Benglorious) Not doing words because it makes us win. Prediction:  0-0 United. m  (@tom_mcghee) Not doing words out of respect for arsenal actually winning our last game, despite actually losing. Prediction: 0-0 United   m (@bifurcated_utd) Not doing words our of respect for ToActually, yeah cos of the winning thing. Prediction: 0-0 United.

Arsenal vs. United

Arsenal vs. United

  (@Benglorious)   Prediction:  0-0 United. m  (@tom_mcghee) I have done no words as I hate you both.   Infinity War (2018) Looks good. Prediction: I didn’t ask for your life story M8.  m (@bifurcated_utd) I have done no words cos no internet at my new cribizzle for shizzle boisizzles! Prediction: I read between the lines. […]

Watford vs. United

Watford vs. United

  (@bifurcated_utd) Geno just noticed we’re going to be playing Watford yesterday.

United vs. Brighton

United vs. Brighton

(@Benglorious) Brighton are renowned for the invention of rock, even though everybody secretly knows it was Lenny Kravitz. Prediction: Goals for the Rash and the Marsh see the Unitesh to a comfortable victory. Lukaku to get a timely lift off his sister and Lando by thinking really hard. 0-0 United. m  (@tom_mcghee) Are we playing […]

CL: Basel vs. United

CL: Basel vs. United

(@Benglorious) The last thing standing between us and qualification for the knockout stages of the Champions League is a team called Basel, or, as our American cousins say, Ahreggano. Jokes, I don’t have an American cousin. If I did, he or she would have very easy access to firearms but have to wait until they […]

United vs. Newcastle

United vs. Newcastle

(@Benglorious) See the Basel preview in the future for my Newcastle preview from the past. Prediction:  0-0 United. m  (@tom_mcghee) Newcastle United – or as the purists know them, The Black and White Stripers – are a team near the North Eastern hamlet of Sunderland. Their entire economy is based upon their patented Brown Ale […]

Chelsea vs. United

Chelsea vs. United

  (@Benglorious) Chelsea are the reigning champions. They play in blue kits in a nice part of London called Fulham. They used to have a player called Bumstead and another called Spackman. These names still make me laugh. Do you know what else makes me laugh? John Terry crying. Prediction: If she don’t come, I’ll […]

CL: United vs. Benfica

CL: United vs. Benfica

    (@Benglorious) Having not watched the Spurs game due to being roped in to building some decking with the worst hangover of my adult life, I don’t feel I am in a position to comment on United’s form going into this Champions League match. Prediction: We will fucking crush Benfica and make their six […]

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