Predictions

United vs. Liverpool

United vs. Liverpool

  (@Benglorious) Brett is in Poland so we have no natural leader or a jokes. Prediction:  0-0 United. m  (@tom_mcghee) As above. That aside, pretty good. Prediction: 0-0 United. m (@bifurcated_utd) I’m in Poland. In minus 26 temperatures. Survival is my priority. Prediction: Death. 0-0 United.

Crystal Palace vs. United

Crystal Palace vs. United

  (@Benglorious) Prediction: Below is an idiot. They know what he looks like. 0-0 United. m  (@tom_mcghee) No words today due to the Academy’s shameful lack of recognition for Thor. For shame. Prediction: Repost to above: He’s had a haircut. 0-0 United. m (@bifurcated_utd) I’m not doing words cos it’s us playing against a team even worse […]

United vs. Chelsea

United vs. Chelsea

  (@Benglorious) Remember that time we beat Chelsea because Herrera stood on top of their best player for the whole match like a tiny Spanish hat? Well, today we’re fucked because Ander’s only gone and got himself a terminal injury as per BT Sport’s insightful commentary team. Maybe we could just try and beat them […]

CL: Sevilla vs. United

CL: Sevilla vs. United

(@Benglorious) No idea how Sevilla got to play in the Champions League after being relegated last season, but that Agbonlahor is a hell of a player. Prediction: Hawkeye to actually draw a straight line. Black Widow to confiscate his crayons. 0-0 United. m  (@tom_mcghee) I cannot do words as I am too busy watching the […]

FAC: Huddersfield vs. United

FAC: Huddersfield vs. United

    (@Benglorious) Instead of starring in film trailers or pimping out tractors, I wish our players would sometimes let loose and steal a taxi or dress as a suicide bomber or add their brand to a Flowers of Manchester memorial or even just do a silly dance on Instagram. Football is too money-oriented these […]

Newcastle vs. United

Newcastle vs. United

  (@Benglorious)   Prediction:  m  (@tom_mcghee)   Prediction:  m (@bifurcated_utd) I can’t do words this week, so glad you guys have got my back. Prediction: 0-0 United.

United vs. Huddersfield Town

United vs. Huddersfield Town

  (@Benglorious) I’m taking instagam pictures of my bathroom taps and fixing a water pipe on to my dog’s face. Prediction: Irreverent reference to lots of goals with a 0-0 United punchline. m  (@tom_mcghee) I’m bench pressing wacky baccy at The Plumbing Centre. Film Review (10BC) 10 out of 10. That aside, pretty good. Prediction: Names […]

Tottenham Hot Spurs vs. United

Tottenham Hot Spurs vs. United

  (@Benglorious) Tonight is when we see if Sanchez is worth paying more than a BBC presenter. Can the True Blue Gunner Gooner use his mighty Arsenal heart to vanquish the mighty Carmon Youspurs? This reporter says dunno. Prediction: Sanchez to surpass all expectations by simply not being Armenian. 0-0 United. m  (@tom_mcghee) Was so […]

FAC: Yeovil Town vs. United

FAC: Yeovil Town vs. United

(@Benglorious) I was going to do a Sanchez acrostic or even one of those amazing song things but I didn’t think he’d be in the squad for tonight’s game, so I didn’t do either of those things. True story. Prediction: Sanchez to get turned into a pickle by his Grandpa. “Rocking All Yeovil The World” […]

Burnley vs. United

Burnley vs. United

  (@Benglorious) There are three things about transfer sagas that I can’t stand: 1. Transfer sagas United play Burnley today in what the press are calling The Thriller In Manila Or Something Similar. Let’s hope it lives up to the billa Ing. Prediction:  Goals for both Dyche and Mourinho in a classic stalemate. 0-0 United. […]

United vs. Stoke

United vs. Stoke

  (@Benglorious) Can’t believe Stoke got a new manager today. Really can’t believe Stoke got a new manager at all. All I know about Paul Lambert is that he defeated the Kurgan and tasted that sweet, sweet Quickening. Prediction: It’s a kind of magic. 0-0 United. m  (@tom_mcghee) I am not writing another preview until […]

FAC: United vs. Derby

FAC: United vs. Derby

(@Benglorious) Another Derby match. Let’s hope Andross Townsend behaves in a respectful manner this time unless he wants to wake up on Mourinho’s hotel room floor. Prediction: United to put out a full-strength squad, showing this great competition the respect it deserves. Something Andross Townsend would know nothing about. Lukaku to stay on for one […]

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