Reaction

United 0 - 0 Liverpool

United 0 – 0 Liverpool

We didn’t watch it.

FAC: Chelsea 0 - 2 United

FAC: Chelsea 0 – 2 United

The only real downside to last night’s result is the footage emerging of Alexis Sanchez looking very small. Apparently, he is just very small and not just very far away. Wait, two downsides: the MBM Krang/turtles tweet was wasted on all you scum.   Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. People sure don’t like Sanchez […]

CL: United 0 - 2 PSG

CL: United 0 – 2 PSG

One for the grandkids … “Where were you when Ole Gunnar Solskjaer lost his one and only game as manager of Manchester United Football Club”? That Alexis7 hatty is going to be even more sweeter, now he’s decided to wait until the second leg. I wonder what they will make his statue out of? These […]

Fulham 0 - 3 United

Fulham 0 – 3 United

“We’ve finally got our United back!” Plastics. We remained Top Reds throughout. No need to look back through our previews and reviews over the last 3 years. ┬áThe science checks out.   Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. Glad I’m not a Chelsea fan 2. Which team do you support, again? 3. The best one […]

Leicester 0 - 1 United

Leicester 0 – 1 United

In memory of the Tree, United scrapped to a tense one goal victory with no plan b. Goodnight sweet branchy cunt. Here’s another 5 things learned: 1. Arsenal are very bad 2. Rashford is very good. 3. Don’t do a preview before anyone else you’re wasting your life.

United 2 - 2 Burnley

United 2 – 2 Burnley

Imagine watching that game and using it as evidence to prove that Ole shouldn’t be the manager. And also focussing on the City result. Abs Clown Shoes imho. Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. #JoseIn 2. Fuck City.

FAC: Arsenal 1 - 3 United

FAC: Arsenal 1 – 3 United

Tis oft said (BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA like olden days language innit. Like Quaff, or Peacock Feathers) that the FA Cup is a magical competition, where miracles abound etc etc … Alexis Sanchez. Here’s another 5 things we learned: 1. Jesse moonwalking all over the pitch is the greatest celebration of all time and anyone who disagrees is […]

United 2 - 1 Brighton

United 2 – 1 Brighton

7 is the magic number as the Neneh Cherry ft. Youssou N’Dour and Brad Pitt song goes. What’s with the Neneh Cherry references in the last two weeks? Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. And now you’re gonna believe us… 2. And now you’re gonna believe us… 3. And now you’re gonna belieeeeeeve uuuuuusss… 4. […]

Tottenham 0 - 1 United

Tottenham 0 – 1 United

So, Ole passed the test. Looking forward to him having to pass the next tests, and then still not getting the job at the end of the season having won the Champions League and secured a top 4 position. Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. Dave’s feet are actually hands 2. Don’t research that 3. […]

FAC: United 2 - 0 Reading

FAC: United 2 – 0 Reading

Sir Ole Gunnar FergSolkjaerson used this FA Cup tie as the perfect opportunity to show just how much we needed to pay any team to take Sanchez off of our hands. Genius imho. If only we could win every single game by scoring a million of goals and being the superior team, regardless of the […]

Newcastle 0 - 2 United

Newcastle 0 – 2 United

Out of Office until 4th January

United 4 - 1 Bournemouth

United 4 – 1 Bournemouth

Starting to think sacking Mourinho was a good idea after all. Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. Pretty sure Rashford’s mum and dad are Maradona and Pele 2. Pele definitely not the dad 3. lol because of his limp member 4. lol

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