(@Benglorious)

It’s always great playing West Ham, especially fifteen times in three weeks. Sometimes we even beat them. Except when Blackburn won the league that one time. Ask your dad. Or Paul. Whichever one actually remembers. Paul.

Prediction: Rooney to score from anywhere up to 70 yards away but only if he plays. Martial to do a madness and Zlatan to kick the ref’s face off. The goal stands. 0-0 United.

 (@tom_mcghee)

I preferred football when it was just three, sometimes four games a year, back in the days when if a player even thought about using any part of his boot except the laces to score a goal he’d have been executed by firing squad.

Prediction: Mkhitaryan to score one using his ballbag. 1-0 United.

m 

 (@ttackattackattack)

It’s 2017, a new year, a new dawn, a new day, a new life, fooooor me, and I’m feeling good, and apparently, according to OpthalmicJoe, if we would have started the Premier League a week next Tuesday, all of the last twenty or so years of the Premier League would have never have existed. Makes you think.

West Ham, again? What are they competition winnerers or something?

Prediction: Giroud to score one next week with his labia. 0-0 United. 

 (@Benglorious)

Christmas was good because Brett didn’t try and force any of his lyrics on me. In unrelated news, I’m out of lyrics.

Prediction: Middlesbra used to have Ravanelli playing up front. Rava-fucking-nelli. Ask your dad. Or Paul, whichever is oldest. Paul. Happy New Year or whatever. 0-0 United.

 (@tom_mcghee)

Not writing words because I legit hate you two and our audience (Paul).

Also Middlesborough are for tools.

Prediction: Who/when are we playing?

m 

 (@ttackattackattack)

It’s the end of another great year for the great friends team at Bifurcated Towers! Not nearly nominated for an FBA. And only blocked by 37 users of popular social media platform Twitter. I was only dead for 312 days. Tom thought about writing a blog post with words. And I don’t think I’m forgetting anyone else. Oh yeah, how could I forget Paul?! That’s definitely it now.

Here’s to another 1000 posts and some more great lols in 2017!! Or, what the critics are calling 20BIFteen. That a joke worked better in 2015 and also slightly better in 2016 tbf.

Prediction: 0-0 United.