(@Benglorious)

Finally got round to making a Tom/Ole face/off picture for his bio after he’s cried like John Terry for seven games. Unfortunately, this has left me no time to complete my F.A. Cup pre

Prediction: Sanchez to do a good thing, Pogba to do a better thing, football to be the real winner. 0-0 United.

M

 (@tom_mcghee)

Love United, hate Sanchez*

*unless he scores a winner tonight in which case this was just a joke and I always knew he’d come good although he won’t because he’s a cunt.

The Punisher (Season 2, 2019)

Boy that Frank sure does love punishing people. I liked it when he fought the Russian guys in the Russian gym (I like gyms).

Prediction: Having collated raw data and facts I have determined that when we play Arsenal either they win or we do. Science tells us to expect more of the same ergo 8-6 United imho.

MM

(@bifurcated_utd)

Almost a year to the day since United Legend Alexis Sanchez made the piano-tinkling switch from the True Blue Gunner Gooners to the Mighty Red Devils and it presents Alexis7 with the perfect opportunity to showcase to his former club the supreme talent they have been missing by continuing his incredible run of form and goals and inspirational leadership.

Prediction: Alexis Sanchez to score so many goals that the F.A. give us the cup at half time. 0-0 United.

(@Benglorious)

Long days and pleasant nights, pardner. Mosey on over here, take a load off and wash some of the trail out ya throat. No need to be afeared, buddy, I won’t bite ya. You like stories? An old timer like me, I got lots o’stories. Lemme tell you about this gang I knew back in the day. Great bunch of lads, real close like. Absolutely unstoppable. Swept other gangs aside from any county you can think of. Even conquered them fancy boys from over the border a couple a times. Literally untouchable. Like all the best stories though, this one has a sad ending. The boss of this gang, he done had a good run, decided to call it a day and took his leave of those special boys. He done figured that his legacy would be in safe hands, never the mind who stepped into his boots. Boy, was he mistook. Three men tried on those boots, and three men couldn’t fill ‘em. Sure, there were good times, but for the most part, every day since has been a complete shitshow. Absolute cow dung. Cuntsville, population: those guys. In fact, just shoot me, pardner. In the face.

Prediction: Plenty of minty big game, zero big game attitude. BOYZ 2 MEN 0.

M

 (@tom_mcghee)

I cannot do words as I am living a fantasy life in Super Cowboy Bros 2 they don’t have football there it is a happier place also you can shoot people who argue with you.

Prediction: Happy. Shooting people who argue with me.

M

(@bifurcated_utd)

Thought I’d paid the technical team at Krystal hosting enough cash money to keep this piece of shit website off the internet for good tbh … Yay! So, great to be back.

The top 4 finish Mourinho was talking about was in the Champions League Group Stage.

Prediction: All the players to take Mourinho up on his offer to stay at home and watch the match on the television (apart from Alexis Sanchez who has lost the remote control in his dog’s anus). This works out, as United with no players actually perform better and grind out a 1-0 win.

Here’s 5 things we learned:

1. I learnt nothing. I actually unlearnt stuff I thought I knew ie what the fuck was that game?

2. Pogba was great second half. I feel like I should say this because I moan about him so much.

3. Making Lukaku a CB will be Jose’s last great illusion imho

4. Still laughing at the soup of the day gag

5. We deserve so many accolades for our writes

6. and for some of our lefts.

Here’s 5 things we learned:

1. After a couple of minor upgrades Atreus becomes a decent ally to Kratos.

2. Herrera is the Lingard that Dele Alli thinks he is.

3. I like how every game lately has been like an A-Team episode i.e. gang gets captured (concedes a goal) but then B.A (Bad Attitude) Baracus ain’t getting on no plane.

4. Harry Kane should shave that beard before WC to avoid the old maxim ‘striker with beard, not to be feared’ imho. It also makes him look like Teen Wolf.

5. Think it’s asking a bit much to ask Harry Kane to shave that beard every time he goes to the toilet tbh.

Lols @ Sanchez Rooneying his penalty like a true Red Leg.

Here’s 5 things we learned:

1. The Last Jedi was a film I saw instead.

2. M8 don’t get me started Snoke was a good character imho lol.

3. I liked how they used the Force as social media.

4. The gorilla AT-ATs were also good. As was Luke deciding to just kill his nephew in his sleep, deffos like Luke and the Jedi imho nqat ffs I was enjoying today.

5. Fuck you both.. I had gone 2 months and 1 day without spoilers and was going to watch it tonight.

220.1 miles according to Google, if you travel via the M5 and M6. 269.1 miles via the A303. The train-line, though more direct, takes a little longer as has to take into account stations along the way. Which is something that travelling by car never does. Are we supposed to piss our pants just so we can adhere to the strict timings dictated to us by a popular search engineers website?! This reporter says yes.

Here’s 5 things we learned:

1. Martin Keown really doesn’t like Alexis Sanchez.

2. Martin known is a monkey who has been strategically shaved and dressed up.

3. Darmian’s facial hair is upsetting.

4. I like how Sanchez is good because he tries things and gives the ball away.

5. I like how Mkhitaryan is bad because he tries things and gives the ball away.

6. I like how Martin Keown is bad because he’s a cunty bell flap.

Here’s 5 things we learned:

1) Better Rooneys:

a) Mickey.

a2) Anyone else with that name.

1) Should put out a missing persons notice for Darmian.

6) The tweet of Basti and Ramsey with ‘Bitch, please’ getting triple figures is really fucking stupid when you’ve lost 3-0.

7) Triple figures doesn’t mean 3.

8) Family birthday parties are better than watching us get beat. Just.

9) One of us is called ‘Just’.

10) International breaks every week could work.

11) The FBA judges are flammable.