Here’s the 5 things we learned this week:

1. Martial is faster/miles better than Joseph Barton.

2. It was good when Pogba did that skinny turn thing and Brady didn’t know where the ball went.

3. Rooney is still clownshoes.

4. I liked how I didn’t feel nervous for the last 15 minutes of the game.

5. My carpets are still damp.

6. Another week of actually doing ‘5 things’!! Great work guys!! oh.

I did not have a clue that that was Cleverley’s first ever goal for the club … how rubbish is he? Just messin’ wid yer. But seriously. Never. Scored. For. Us. Before. Sort it out ClevZ.

Was very impressed with our yoof, okay VERY is a bit of an exaggeration in the context of the evening (the game wasn’t the highest quality) but still. I don’t know if you know – because the commentators only mentioned it eleventy million times – but Ryan Tunnicliffe’s Daaaaaddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd (Oh sorry, I must have drifted off). Anyway, where was I …

Rooney did look good – not “fantastic” – but the game wasn’t exactly electrifying (you’d hope he would shine in that company). Anderson and Cleverley and Welbeck showed what they’re all capable of with a bit of space; Anderson and Cleverley still have to transfer that to the Prem. But I’m not moaning – I enjoyed the game in general and thought there was much to be happy about-ish.

The best BEST BEST!!!! thing about the game is Fletcher getting a 90 minutes. Just imagine him being back proper forever!! *Everything crossed double hard*

Not enough Nick Ka-Powell for my liking. And Chicha needs to sharpen up his head.

MOTM: Fergie for picking something that looked surprisingly like a team with a real formation and that.

It’s a shame we’ve drawn Chelsea, somehow they seem to suit the evil credit card cup more, so will probably win on account of some evil conspiracy involving lots of evil people and evil goings on.