(@Benglorious)

I’m guessing there’s some more football on today. There’s always football. Was gonna write about that Star Wars thing but I’m pretty sure Tom wants to spoil that for Paul. I enjoyed the PIEEW-PIEEW guns and the VWOMM-VWOMMM stick the most. Rojo penalised.

Prediction: Me to never use any lyrics by Brett for reasons. Godzilla to sign in the January window. 0-0 United.

 (@tom_mcghee)

I don’t even like the Star Wars. Why isn’t there even an East Brom? Racist.

Rogue One (2016)

To avoid spoiling it for the jobsworth nonces who haven’t made the effort to see it yet, I shall review this next week. Suffice to say, didn’t see Spock once!!! HAHAHAH like that joke when cunts pretend to confuse the two.

Prediction: Vader to chase Leia for the stolen death star plans, R2 to abscond to Tatooine with them leading to one helluva of an adventure, spanning 3 or more films. 4-0 United, Memphis to wear bad clothes.

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 (@ttackattackattack)

Star Wars is for sucker chumps. Really should pay those boys more now we’re tapping in to that sweet patreon cash.

Prediction: Benno to use my song lyrics for once in his miserable excuse for a life – that he needs to get one of first, instead of watching me write this – and we become a famous. 0-0 United. 

Rashdawg utilised a loophole in matchday squad/substitution administration to circumvent Jose’s ageist regime and hammerlegended it.

Roonsquad utilised a loophole in his 30 year decline to provide the assist that Rashdawg himself would have been proud of. Apart from the scuffed cross bit that fluked its way through to Rashdawg. And the hair.

Here’s 5 things we learned ‘under the rain':

1) Rash is life.

2) Not a rash like that time I came back from Thailand.

3) I’m proper fucked I’ll try tomorrow.

4) Can’t wait.

5) Literally didn’t wait.

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 Benno (@Benglorious)

Mere time units since some no-mark team from some overrated city lifted the Premiership League trophy, we’re here again for yet another season of this game that you all love so dearly.  When will it all end?

Some old players have left, some new ones have arrived, Old Trafford is still old, there’s a new shirt thing which is just made in an old sweatshop… It’s all exactly the same as it is every year, and it will end up the same as it does every single year – with the winner touring the other eleven Districts and the Capitol before returning victorious to their own District to live out their life in peace and luxury. Or so they think.

Opposition Summary:  Tottenham are a good example of a Tottenham.  They promise much Tottenham, their fans expect Tottenham, and Tottenham generally deliver the Tottenham they promise and their fans expect.  It’s classic Tottenham and this season we are looking forward to Tottenham doing some Tottenham as well as probably doing a Tottenham before going full Tottenham.  Tottenham. 

Prediction:  Vangle will be expecting Tottenham to come out full Tottenham, especially in the first game of the season.  If this is the first game of the season, then Vangle should be fully expectant of that thing I already said he will be expecting.  The new players will do old stuff but it will seem new because a new player is doing it.  One of these new players will probably score the winner/set up the winner/be on the pitch when the winner is scored.  Back to the glory days!!  0-0 United.

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  Tom (@tom_mcghee)

Refusing to do a preview because my limit is one write per week.  It’s not like I’ve got an English degree and a lot of free time.

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  Brett (@ConjugatingSue)

After dramatically escaping prison at the end of the last series in the most lolageddon outta here way, I’ve since moved back in: Hooch-induced scurvy, regular bummings, and learning the theme tune to Last of the Summer Wine on the harmonica, are infinitely less painful than sharing the treehouse, under the bridge, with Bob and Ted. It was my choice. It’s nothing to do with Warner sueing the site for the dramatically escaping prison at the end of the last series and them not accepting milk bottle tops.

Hey, Benno, is that Marky Mark? Loved him in Stoke Manager. (No, that’s Brett from Alien (1979).  Brett is an engineer on the spaceship Nostromo.  He has a casual attitude to work, and his often grumpy nature may well be an act.  Motivated by money, and not interested in investigating alien lifeforms, Brett can be flippant in attitude and prone to careless actions.  He has a good reason not to like cats.)

Prediction: Danny with his customary two.  Do we even have a Danny?  Do we ever score two?  What’s custard got to do with any of it?  Find out at 12.45 today.  Well, not 12.45 on the dot – nothing really happens at kick off.  Probably best to check back when the final whistle is blown at 21.15 tonight.

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