Benno (@Benglorious)

Stoke-on-Trent is a unique city affectionately known as The Potteries. With its rich industrial heritage and history, Stoke-on-Trent has respectfully claimed the title of World Capital of Ceramics ( find out from whom and in which competition when/if bothered).

Opposition Summary: Stoke City Football Club is a Stokish professional stokeball club based in Stoke-on-Trent, Stokefordshire that plays in the Stokier League. They mostly play in broken red shirts. 

Prediction:  Stoke is near Derby and we battered them so Stoke will be an absolute walkover according to this Geogratistics thing I just made up. That’s right, ladies: geography AND statistics. Please form an orderly queue starting at Brett’s crying, naked body. The second queue can start at that pointing and laughing Tom person. 0-0 United.

 Tom (@tom_mcghee)

Stoke – named after wealthy founder Bram Stoker – are a team of many mischiefs and clay-based shenanigans. But not vampires. Which makes it kinda 1-1. They also have a rich heritage of industrial histories and according to Benno, some kind of Monkey forest. Got to be honest, if this Monkey Forest is real, I might support Stoke. Although this mile long lake sounds a bit needy. Remember when we used to mention the football?

Bram Stoker’s Dracula (1992)

Haven’t seen it. That aside, pretty good

Prediction: Doesn’t matter because everyone is still crying over this Pete Gladiola character.  Still, good news about Luke Shaw. 3-0 United. But only in the game I’m watching. 

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 Brett(@ttackattackattack)

And exactly how does a naked body cry? Good words, words.

Prediction: We’ll weasely beat them cos we’re Stokally unrecognisable from the last time we came together. Getting a little aroused tbh. 0-0 United.