(@Benglorious)

Another Derby match. Let’s hope Andross Townsend behaves in a respectful manner this time unless he wants to wake up on Mourinho’s hotel room floor.

Prediction: United to put out a full-strength squad, showing this great competition the respect it deserves. Something Andross Townsend would know nothing about. Lukaku to stay on for one more season at the behest of Uncle Lars. 0-0 United.

m

 (@tom_mcghee)

My preview will be in the medium of performative dance. I will need a basic stage/lighting set-up and £8000.

It (1990)

In the spirit of something I wanted to watch the original It movie, starring Tim Curry as Pennywise the clown. Imagine my surprise when I found that this movie did not exist. What I ended up watching was the It mini-series, starring Tim Curry as Pennywise the clown. That aside, pretty good.

Prediction: Mkhitaryan to finally step up and show us his level. 0-0 United.

m

(@bifurcated_utd)

It hardly seems fair that we have to play Everton AND Liverpool at the same time. Has anyone asked the F.A to justify this injustice of injustices? Is it 22 players against 11? Do they have to play with a handicap? i.e Rooney. Has anyone seen my ‘Calvin Classics’ I got for Christmas? I left them under the tree and now don’t have a clue where they are.

Prediction: Benno to still be shitting through a sieve. If the curse I bought off that fella down the pub is worth the bar mat it’s written on. 0-0 United.