(@Benglorious)

Sussed.

Prediction: That to make sense when you read Tom’s.

M

 (@tom_mcghee)

Can’t be arsed already bored of talking about it with cunts on twitter.

Benno do you remember at primary school how Jody brown would always be like ‘ha, sussed’ I’m sure all of Twitter are his children.

Also Abso glols at Ed trying to suggest Pogba was good at Everton. Quoted his tackling stats: 100%. How many tackles you ask? Well just the one Bahahaha cunt.

Prediction: Glol what a shitshow of a season.

(@bifurcated_utd)

I am not watching this game as a personal protest against the Twitter scum who talk like a clownshoes wearing clowns. And not because my gf has insisted I go to her friend’s birthday because I have the night off and “can’t just spend all my time off talking on Twitter like a clownshoes wearing clown”.

Prediction: Numerous toilet breaks between every mouthful of food so I can talk like a clownshoes wearing clown on Twitter. 0 – 0 United

(@Benglorious)

YEE-HAW HEAD ‘EM UP RIDE ‘EM OUT etc

Prediction: Rubber to not have been invented yet. Hat-trick for Pogba plus a brace for Lukaku. 0-0 Valencia

M

 (@tom_mcghee)

Why is it a dead rubber?* We don’t call a game that counts a live rubber. Rubber discrimination? Not for me to say but obviously yes.

*The actual etymology of ‘dead ‘rubber’ is from the card game ‘rubber bridge’. A from of contract bridge, rubber bridge is played by two competing teams of two players. For example, the Davis Cup series has each pair of competing countries play 5 matches (rubbers) where the winer is decided on a best of five basis – where the result is known before the completion of the five matches (ie one side wins three) the remaining match/es are said to be ‘dead rubbers’.

Prediction: Everyone to have learned something about dead rubbers. Me to learn there is no rubber discrimination as I first surmised. Basically everyone will learn something. Aside from Brett.

Prediction: 

M

(@bifurcated_utd)

Must be a curse from some sage maverick, but I have completely lost the ability to learn. Send money.

Prediction: The identity of the sage maverick to remain hidden as no-one reads that clownshoes previews.