(@Benglorious)

Zorya. Again. Still no idea what they are. What I do know is that their pitch is really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really hard. Just like any pitch near the Arctic Circle, in the middle of winter, would be.

Prediction: Expect goals at either end, probably with nets. 0-0 United.

 (@tom_mcghee)

SHOW ME WHAT YOU’VE GOT

Night Watch/Day Watch (2004)

Russian (we’re playing in Russia. That’s the link) supernatural duology that is absolutely batshit mental. So batshit mental I legit can’t really remember what it’s about but I know there are like two police forces for The Others, one good, one evil, that keep each other in check or something. Then there’s this guy with a dead wife and a witch and a little baby doll’s head with spiders legs. No idea. That aside, pretty good*

*long time listeners: have I done this one before? Answer before 6pm UK time to win two tickets to the 2017 Tollesbury Open Garden weekend. Should be a lot of fun.

Prediction: Ice-T to change back to Water-T and crunch The Numbers. Who fucking cares anymore.

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 (@ttackattackattack)

If the pitch is so really etc hard, how come Memphis looks like he’s in sinking sand? Pathetic.

The only thing I know about this team is that they are available in all good Starbucks. The only other thing I know about this team is Antonio Banderas. And the only other thing I know about this team is they were formed one Christmas when Serhiy Rebrov got a dud hand at Scrabble.

Christmas films innit lads…

Edward Scissorhands 1990

Or Edward Obviouslywearinggloveswithbladessellotapedtothefingers more like. That, and well deep metaphors for stuff aside, pretty good.

Prediction: Our Edward Scissorhands, Marryone Brickfeet, to cry off from all the hate and have the roof cave in on him for realsies. What’s the difference between a prediction and a wish? 0-0 United.