mm

 Benno (@Benglorious)

If we were playing Tottenham, I could make some spurious reference to Kyle Walker’s alleged love of dogging.  We’re not.

Prediction: Gundogan to start in place of Carrick for his 100th appearance for the club, Hummels will continue his recent run of goalscoring with yet another header from a set-piece, Falcao will score Danny’s customary two and two of the previous statements are far more likely to happen than the other one.  1-0 Everton.

Where are they right now?

Anderson Luís de Abreu Oliveira

Frozen in this pose forever.

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 Tom (@tom_mcghee)

Completely forgot all about football until this morning and have been busy sitting since.

Prediction:  Benno to finally snap and kill all of us for never doing any work.  2-1 United.

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 Brett (@DaySixofThirtyInTheHole)

Made friends today by “looking after” something for my cellmate, God rest his soul.

Prediction:  Irish Pete with his customary one in the shower, followed by Big Sal eating my lunch.  3-2 United.

Ben (Benglorious):

Yet again it feels like an eternity since we last played, particularly because during our last outing we got our arses handed to us by some Greek team that nobody knows how to spell.

In the interim leading up to today’s visit to the Hawthorns, we’ve seen United’s legal team start proceedings against every young boy who’s drawn the copyrighted MUFC badge on their maths book.  I’ve never understood copywriting; Surely it’s free advertising.

We’ve also had a wonderful open letter from our wonderful manager which basically says nothing.  I tried reading between the lines, but discovered that it was only background, no words.  I’ve never understood open letters.  Surely if a letter isn’t open, it’s just an envelope.

Anyway, the game is West Brom.  The stakes have never been highe… Let’s not kid ourselves; there are no stakes.  Unless you’re talking about the sharpened ones waiting for Moyes.  Which are a bit excessive in my opinion as we have no real evidence that he’s a vampire. Yet.  Notable West Brom players to watch out for include Nicolas Anelka, Bryan Robson and Frank Skinner.

Prediction: More positivity this week from me after my very successful therapy sessions.  RVP will show us his worth and devotion to the club by bagging a brace, and Mata will sparkle so much that @BeautifullyRed will have to gif the whole match.  1-0 West Brom.

About the author: I’ve never understood these about the author bits.

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Brett:

I’ve been talking to Bifurcated David, and, after much to-ing and fro-ing, we decided to re-brand ourselves: we were #MoyesIn, but now we’re #MoyesOut. #MoyesIn … #MoyesOut, we shake it all etc.. Before you start … it’s a positive thing. We reckon that it’s better to position yourself in the #MoyesOut camp, so when something bad happens, you’ve been expecting it and can feel vindicated and superior. But if something good happens, you’re surprised and delighted. That, and the fact that #MoyesIn is well uncool and #MoyesOut is well zeitgeist. And then we remembered we don’t know what the point of twitter hashtags is, apart from the convenient collating of information from specific demographics for Twitter to pass on to the baddies in one neatly arranged format … AND we already had enough padding to conclude this prediction introduction, so could start to wind it up … AND Bifurcated David doesn’t exist.

It’s great to be playing a team we’ve scored a squllion goals past in our previous two league games against them. Them having scored a squllion and one during the same two league games is totally irrelevant. Pepe Mel … Ah! Wait! I’m not falling for this again. Let’s all trick Brett into talking about a  made up person with a silly name that doesn’t exist … You’ll have to get up a little earlier in the afternoon to catch me out. I think we’ll file Pepe alongside Gundogan.  Pepe Mel. Good one.

We’ve got Juan Mata. I’d forgotten.

Prediction: 2-30. I’ve got a dentist appointment.