Bifurcated Manchester United » Han Solo https://bifurcated.co.uk Quasi-Futuristic Allegorical Football Meta-Narrative Sun, 24 Apr 2022 09:33:40 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=4.1.41 Stoke vs. United https://bifurcated.co.uk/manchester-united-chitty-chatty/pregame/stoke-vs-united-4 https://bifurcated.co.uk/manchester-united-chitty-chatty/pregame/stoke-vs-united-4#comments Sat, 21 Jan 2017 14:03:15 +0000 http://bifurcated.co.uk/?p=15207  Romorrow

Ben (@Benglorious)

Stoke means to add coal or other solid fuel to (a fire, furnace, boiler, etc.), to encourage or incite (a strong emotion or tendency), and also to consume a large quantity of food or drink to give one energy. One of these is where the football team we are playing today gets their name from, but historians cannot decide which one.

m

Prediction: Tom to think it’s super easy to transfer a Youtube video from a Whatsapp group. Rojo to be penalised. Giroud to be onside. 0-0 United.

 

mcg (@tom_mcghee)

Are we playing Stoke today? If so please post this link for my preview. It is relevant.

 If I’m ever unavailable again, please re-use.

m

Prediction: George to reconsider and erase the preview trilogy from history. He’ll also remove all the ridiculous CGI from the original trilogy, and make it so Han shoots first again like the scoundrel we know and love. 2-1 United.

m 

brett (@bifurcated_utd)

For the first time in football history, goals are top of the agenda, as half-man/half-robotic-runner-bean Peter Crouch takes on half-man/half-bag-of-chips Wayne Rooney in a scintillating ‘who can get a goal which enables said individual to achieve a personal milestone, which in team sports is a legit geno selfish act of Pope Sixtus IV proportions’? Whoever fails has to to take Coleen and Kai and Klay and Kit to China.

Prediction: Brett to erase Tom and Benno from preview history. 0-0 United.

 

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