(@Benglorious)

After I celebrated the dawning of the new year with a glass of apple juice and some dry crackers, I am actually looking forward to today’s game. Not having had anything with any flavour in it for the last few days has given me a true appreciation for Jose Mourinho’s approach to football. Here’s to more of the same in 2018, especially the shitting myself to death part.

Prediction: Things to only get better lol. 0-0 United.

m

 (@tom_mcghee)

I have very good feelings about playing against ex-United legend, and club record-goalscorer Wayne Rooney. Very good feelings indeed. Yes. Very good.

Schitt’$ Creek (2015- )

Although not quite the natural successor to Arrested Development as was promised, this Canadian comedy still has enough charm, humour, and dysfunction to help kill a whole day when you’re lying ill on the sofa.

Prediction: Roonsquad to do a Roonsquad. Rash to be life. Martial to do a madness. I don’t even know what any of this means any more. 0-0 United.

m

(@bifurcated_utd)

Sorry for the spoiler lads, but I know how this one ends: Wayne and Big Sam licking gravy off each other’s tits.

Prediction: See above. 0-0 United.