(@Benglorious)

Howdy, pardner. It’s time to dust off yer six-shooter and mount up. Tonight, we ride. By tonight I mean late afternoon, and by ride I mean scrape another goalless draw. The Pools panel (ask yer da) must hate us.

Prediction: All posses joined immediately and all missions completed with no software crashes. Lol more chance of a free-flowing high press from Mourinho. 0-0 United.

M

 (@tom_mcghee)

My words are like my feelings of respect for you both ie non-existent I legit don’t know who we’re playing, just as long as they don’t send us to that horrible planet of the apes wait Statue of Liberty? That was our planet you etc etc

Prediction: Cowboys vs Aliens to be far more engrossing than anything United offer up. Mark Hughes to further cement his reputation as the worst manager in premier league history by fighting José and losing. 4-1 Southampton.

M

(@bifurcated_utd)

Thankfully there are two things worse than Manchester United Manager Jose Mourinho … 2 Manchester United Manager Jose Mourinhos, and soon-to-be-ex Manager of Southampton Mark Hughes.

I don’t think there can be any doubt whatsoever that this game will serve up the coup de gras of total football with devine goals carved from heavenly clouds by all the bestest dead players that have never lived.

Prediction: -25 – -25 United.