Crystal Palace matched us at what we do best … which is testament to Vangle’s genius. If we can get every team to match us, and end every game nil all, until the end of the season, we’ll have at least enough points to start a point business. As the point business expands over the years, we’ll be able to trade and buy points on the a market. By 2083 we’ll be investing points back into the team, and then glory days all the way to Wemberly.

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Here’s five things we learned from the weekend’s excitement:

1) Watching us is less fun than reading this.

2) Seriously.

5) Harry Redknapp is almost the perfect blend of Star Wars Jabba the Hutt and Spaceballs Pizza the Hut. It’s uncanny.

12) More like WANE Rooney.

13) Maybe make that (on the)WANE in case it’s too subtle lol.

7) By 2083 Daley Blind will have got there.

c) A 0-0 draw with Barcelona is not a bad result.