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	<title>Bifurcated Manchester United &#187; Johnny Big Boots</title>
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	<description>Quasi-Futuristic Allegorical Football Meta-Narrative</description>
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		<title>United 3 &#8211; 1 Bournemouth</title>
		<link>https://bifurcated.co.uk/manchester-united-chitty-chatty/reaction/united-3-1-bournemouth</link>
		<comments>https://bifurcated.co.uk/manchester-united-chitty-chatty/reaction/united-3-1-bournemouth#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 19 May 2016 15:59:44 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Us]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Postgame]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Reaction]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Bournemouth]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Bucks Fizz]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Fire]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[IKEA]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Johnny Big Boots]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[LvG]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Miguel Delaney]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Orphans]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Readers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Roondog]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[State of Rooney's legs]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Twitterati]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://bifurcated.co.uk/?p=14413</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Now we&#8217;re Twitterfamousers you&#8217;d think we&#8217;d be too Johnny Big Boots to learn. And you&#8217;d be right tbf. Who needs to learn anything when you&#8217;re hobnobbing with the Twitterati; drinking pre-mixed Bucks Fizz from posh glasses?! Tell your 3 RT and 5 Like faces to suck on your disappointment. Bite us. But we&#8217;re legally obligated [&#8230;]]]></description>
				<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><img class="alignleft  wp-image-14414" src="http://bifurcated.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/Cir-Ic5XEAIaiJW.jpg-large-225x300.jpeg" alt="" width="210" height="280" />Now we&#8217;re Twitterfamousers you&#8217;d think we&#8217;d be too Johnny Big Boots to learn. And you&#8217;d be right tbf. Who needs to learn anything when you&#8217;re hobnobbing with the Twitterati; drinking pre-mixed Bucks Fizz from posh glasses?!</p>
<p>Tell your 3 RT and 5 Like faces to suck on your disappointment.</p>
<p>Bite us.</p>
<p>But we&#8217;re legally obligated to learn (part of the conditions of our bail: after the incident with the fire and the &#8220;innocent&#8221; orphans), and so&#8230;</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>Here&#8217;s five things us learned aside from how good us are at Twitter:</p>
<p>1) I didn&#8217;t watch it</p>
<p>1) Neither did I.</p>
<p>1) Nor me.</p>
<p>1) Wait. How many of us is there again? Not counting the ones who us don&#8217;t really count&#8230;</p>
<p>1) Check. Mate.</p>
<p>2) Shots on goal really paid off.</p>
<p>3) LVG is a cupboard. And not even a good IKEA one or that, more like a cheap knockoff or one your Mum lets you have when you move out. Because it&#8217;s rubbish and she hates you.</p>
<p>4) Not sure eating Hobnob biscuits while reading Miguel Delaney&#8217;s tweets is what that means tbqfhwy. And next time don&#8217;t use my readers please, the little screw from the arm is now missing.</p>
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