(@Benglorious)

With every player except Rashford out injured, this game should be a fucking doddle.

Prediction: JoMo to take PeeGee to coaching school, which is actually just called a school because synonymomical tautology innit, and we all know what a great player he was. 0-0 United.

m

 (@tom_mcghee)

Pep. Unsure this qualified as a name, I did some digging and it turns out it’s short for Pepsi. Is he responsible for the very recent and well publicised Pepsi advert/catastrophe? That’s not for me to say. But if you were to ask me, yes, yes he is. The argument is only strengthened when you consider ‘Jose’ is just two letters away from Coke. And that Pepsi set fire to Michael Jackson’s hair (Pep is bald. Coincidence?)

Guardians of the Galaxy 2 (2017)

Unreleased at time of writing (now). With hindsight, it was a poor choice. That aside etc.

Prediction: Top Red Mick Hucknall once sang ‘money’s too tight to mention’. So why did he? Ginger prick. Anyway, change ‘money’ to ‘the match is’ and ‘mention’ to ‘accurately call as both sides are pretty good/bad in equal measure’ and its exactly the same as that. 3-3 Nasri for Rooney

m

(@bifurcated_utd)

So impressed was I by my colleague’s factotum conspiritorium, that I, myself, began to dig … and I, myself, found some juicy tidbits of mystery and intrigue that will shock the world of football to it’s damned core AND 150 words, done.

Suck on your accurate counting.

Prediction: Duggy-duggy-doo, dug-dug-dug doo. Duggy-duggy-doo, dug-dug-dug doo. Duggy-duggy-doo, dug-dug-dug doo. AND I LOVE THE THOUGHT OF COMING HOME TO YOU, EVEN IF I KNOW WE CAN’T MAKE IT!! Great times. 0-0 United.