Here’s 5 toffee apples of knowledge we devoured:

1) We always win when I don’t watch the game.

2) Except Fenerbahce.

3) And Burnley.

4) And Chelsea.

5) That first point may need work.

6) When will Twitter @ you out of life?

7) I have nothing to add to these salient points. Although it does seem worth noting that Swansea are actually very bad.

8) They’ll come good once Lex Luthor has a few more games under his belt.

9) Racist. Pease delete.