(@Benglorious)

Prediction: I’d sit in my dressing gown personally.

M

 (@tom_mcghee)

Also, I will probably not do words today as the game is at 5:30 and this is the one day I have to myself so I’m just going to sit in my dressing down.

Prediction: all day smoking/drinking everything I can find also fuck the geordie stripers.

 M

(@bifurcated_utd)

Prediction: Abject misery.

Here’s 5 things we learned:

1. Clothes shopping is fucking shit but not nearly as fucking shit as the football

2. Ooh check out continuity guy

3. I think we give him more time, 50 years if necessary – he’s building something godammit !!

4. Fred should be investigated under the trades description act

5. if thats even his real name

6. I think we should get Batistuta out of retirement

7. Fuck it, chuck a few quid at Michael Owen

8. Seriously considering putting a lot (£3.47) on a relegation battle bet why? Because I’m a ruddy bloke

(@Benglorious)

It’s telling how bad we are because I suggested we go clothes shopping instead of watching the match.

Prediction: Misogyny to finally catch up with my weary bones. My weary bones not caring. 0-0 United, not us United, them United. 

M

 (@tom_mcghee)

Remember back in days of yore when Kev went batshit with that “I will love it love it if we beat them” malarkey because the rivalry was intense and both teams were in contention? This is now the complete opposite of that. I will only be watching to hopefully witness the very worst PL game ever, despite experience telling me they’ll both fuck it up.

Prediction: 3-0 Newcastle because that’s just who we are now, Benno to be diagnosed with WBS, Brettt to finally admit he doesn’t have a telly.

M

(@bifurcated_utd)

Nooo (Like ‘New”) chance I’m gonna sit through another 90 minutes more like.

Prediction: I’ll sit through it. Even though I don’t have a telly* *They’ll never know cos no-one reads this.

Here’s 5 things we learned:

1. #JoseIn

2. Fuck City.

Here’s 5 things we learned:

1. I learnt nothing. I actually unlearnt stuff I thought I knew ie what the fuck was that game?

2. Pogba was great second half. I feel like I should say this because I moan about him so much.

3. Making Lukaku a CB will be Jose’s last great illusion imho

4. Still laughing at the soup of the day gag

5. We deserve so many accolades for our writes

6. and for some of our lefts.

(@Benglorious)

Couldn’t.

 (@tom_mcghee)

Care.

(@bifurcated_utd)

Less.

In a parallel Universe Jose got his wish and the game is still being played.

It’s currently 9087 – 0.

Here’s 5 things we learned:

1. I didn’t watch the game because I wasn’t watching it.

2. My new jam is Taken The Series. It’s pointless.

3. I’ve got 30+ quests to do on Skyrim and I’m starting to feel a teeny bit overwhelmed.

4. I did watch the game and it made me legit wish I had 30+ quests to do on Skyrim.

*Comment removed here, on the grounds of not making the cut*

5. If you don’t number it, it doesn’t make the cut, pal.

6. Anyone heard anything from Paul lately?