(@Benglorious)

Here’s yer boy with some more faultless logic – City thrashed Chelsea. Both City and United didn’t win in the Champions League last week. Ergo: United are as good as City. Double ergo: United will thrash Chelsea.

Prediction: Did you not read that flawless argument? ’nuff said. 0-0 United.

M

 (@tom_mcghee)

I will not be doing words out of respect for the death of the Labour Party also I hate Chelsea the cunts

Prediction: ‘I will not be doing words out of respect for the death of the Labour Party also I hate Chelsea the cunts’ to become my preview. Cunts.

MM

(@bifurcated_utd)

Ole’s march to the Treble continues tonight. After setting up the return leg with PSG perfectly last week, these “lazy, good-for-nothing, low-life scum sloths with pig trotters for hands, and snails for feet, with hearts made from shit, and really wet shit for brainless brains” (verbatim Chelsea Manager quote), will not know which day of the week it is when we’re finished with them. Monday.

Can’t wait for Ole to emerge for the post-match interview in a loin cloth, carrying Sarri’s head, resplendent with fag sticking out of its gob.

Prediction: Chelsea to abso destroy us, cos Alexis7 and Fred. 0 – 0 United.

If only we could win every single game by scoring a million of goals and being the superior team, regardless of the eleven players we put out, just like the olden days.

Here’s 5 things we learned:

1. Reading, righting, rithmatic

2. I liked the part where we won

3. I liked the part where everyone moaned despite the winning

4. Copyright ‘King Chong’ for when he is legend/climbs a skyscraper in New York

5. I like it when a player wrestles the ball of another to take a penalty, and then misses tbh.