@Benglorious)

City 5-0 Liverpool. The prosecution rests, M’Lud.

Prediction: Me to finally realise that prosecution does NOT mean the same as electrocution. Unless it does. Ain’t nobody got no time to check these facts. Lukaku to gain an audience with Jabba by mind-tricking Bib Fortuna who is actually Peter Crouch. 4-0 United.

m

 (@tom_mcghee)

‘You will never find,

a more wretched hive,

of scum and villainy’  –  Obi-Wan Kenobi re: Stoke

You say ‘Stoke’, you hear ‘Tony Pulis’. And he hasn’t been their manager since 2012 or summat (don’t check this). Can only assume its now either Mark Hughes or Steve Bruce. The point is, nobody cares. Other things about Stoke:

1. It has an area of 36 square miles

2. It is home of the Pottery Industry lol in England. The team’s nickname is The Potters. Despite there being no evidence any of the players ever having even a passing interest in this rather archaic past-time (its not an industry  -making steel is an industry)

3. ‘Aww their Striker is tall’ *Ray Romano from popular US sitcom Everybody Loves Raymond voice* (Ray’s brother was very tall, it was hilarious). Peter Crouch is the tallest footballer in world history.

Alien: Covenant (2017)

Still refuse to watch

Prediction: I bottle publishing my first page draft of Titanic 3: Thrice the Ice despite it being critically acclaimed by at least two actors. Rashford to score 6 and we win the league with [however many games are left] to go. Wayne turns up pissed at HT and goes full Delia on everyone’s ass.

m

(@bifurcated_utd)

Just read Tom’s preview and completely lost the will to li

Prediction: It’s TRItanic, bell! 0-0 United.