(@Benglorious)

I’m taking instagam pictures of my bathroom taps and fixing a water pipe on to my dog’s face.

Prediction: Irreverent reference to lots of goals with a 0-0 United punchline.

m

 (@tom_mcghee)

I’m bench pressing wacky baccy at The Plumbing Centre.

Film Review (10BC)

10 out of 10. That aside, pretty good.

Prediction: Names of people who don’t even play football, doing things unrelated to football with a 44-76 United punchline.

m

(@bifurcated_utd)

A lot has been said of Mourihno’s tactics since the defeat to The Spurs, probably. I have formed my own opinion from watching the match highlights in the free Metro on the bus to work the day after the day before; if we score more goals than we concede then I foresee better results.

I drew a heat map to illustrate this but the bus driver didn’t appreciate my hot urine on his face, and I didn’t get the opportunity to take a picture on my phone.

Prediction: Jason Orange > Orange Orange > Alexis Sanchez. 0-0 United.