United 1 – 1 Swansea

Us — Tue, 02 May 2017 10:27:42 +0000

Jose Mourinho has turned drawing into an art form, and yet we all know that the definition of art is: A man or woman reading a book, to a deaf toy. I’ve forgotten my point.

Here’s 5 things we learned at the weekend:

1. We’re shit.

2. I cannot adequately express the rage I experience watching Wayne Rooney try and play football. It is embarrassing. He must know it’s embarrassing. Fuck off m8.

3. I think 1 & 2 covers it.

4. Tom covered it.

5. See 4.

FAC: United 4 – 0 Reading

Us — Sat, 07 Jan 2017 16:15:32 +0000

In years from now you’ll be able to tell your grandkids, “I was there!!” A goalscoring feat that we’ll be talking about for generations to come. Cementing one of United’s GOAT’s Hammerlegend status. One of those goalden moments…

January 7th, 2017: Marcus Rashford with YET ANOTHER one-yard smash.

Nothing else of note happened.

Here’s 5 things we learned:

1. Rashford is gud.

2. Reading is bad.

3. Rooney has scored a lot of goals but that doesn’t mean I have to like him, which I don’t.

5. Reading is good.

6. See 1-3.

7. I like it when Rashford boots it into the goal when there is absolutely no need other than to pretend it’s a WC final.

Bifurcated Manchester United » Skipper Roo

United 1 – 1 Swansea

FAC: United 4 – 0 Reading