(@Benglorious)

Chelsea have been promising for years to make tomorrow blue, but then they also enjoy tickling bums with celery. Why these two things are mutually exclusive, only scientists know. Not just any old-geezer-teaching-chemistry-in-an-Essex-secondary-school-who-got-handsy-that-time-after-school-when-he-was-demonstrating-the-various-properties-of-alkali-metals scientist, I’m talking real scientists, such as professors Cox, Hawking and Green. I’ve forgotten my point.

Prediction: Chelsea to hopefully provide a sterner test for United than Fenerbahce did, as we all don’t want to have to sit through another game with loads of goals and an easy three points, do we? 5-0 United.

 (@tom_mcghee)

Chelsea are a team of footballers who live in London, which is actually bad (the cost of a pint?? I could buy three tonnes of coal for that! etc) Hearing rumours that our manager was once their manager but yet to confirm, haven’t read anything about it. Their striker is the founder of a popular UK coffee outlet; one of their defenders is voiced by Kelsey Grammer.

Congratulations to Liverpool for winning the title after City won it three weeks earlier. Shout out to Spurs winning it next weekend.

Westworld (2016)

Not to be confused with Westworld the movie from the 70s, Westworld is a series from now. Based on Westworld the movie, we see Jurassic Park before they made dinosaurs and used cowboys instead, all made by Hannibal Lecter (they are all safe from him as they are robots dressed as humans). Now on Episode 4, I have no idea what is going on but my money is on Ed Harris being Arnold (not the Happy Days one. They weren’t all Happy Days – remember when Pinky Toscadero crashed his motorcycle?) That aside, pretty good.

Prediction: Can’t see a win without Rooney (he didn’t travel, you might have seen it on Twitter. About a 1000 times), 2-2 United, Nasri brace. I don’t think Brett is even trying anymore.

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 (@ttackattackattack)

Today we play Chelsea.

Prediction: 0-0 United.

 Benno (@Benglorious)

FA Cup Final day is the most important day of the year unless Arsenal are playing. They’re not, so we all dodged a collective bullet this year. Can you actually imagine how big such a bullet, and how big the gun that fired it, would have to be, not even taking into account that everyone in the world would need to organise themselves into some sort of tight group to maximise devastation? We asked the top scientists in the world (Stephen Hawking, Neil Degrasse Tyson and that guy who played keyboards for Tony Blair) to calculate the actual size of said bullet and here are their findings: Quite large, probably bigger than a horse. I’ve forgotten my point.

I watched Deadpool (2016) last night but film reviews are a sign of weak character and feeble legs. That aside, pretty good.

Opposition Summary: London’s Crystal Palace are the only team left in the FA Cup that play in the Premiership League apart from Manchester United. They wear second-hand Barcelona shirts and have adopted their city’s most famous wild animal, the eagle, as their mascot. Alan Pardew, their charismatic manager, found fame before football as the inventor of the melon.

Prediction: What a game we’re in store for today! Goals for Borthwick-Jackson, Fosu-Mensah and Memphis-Depay ensure a comfortable victory for Jose Mourinho’s Red and White Army. 0-0 FT, 0-0 AET, United win 0-0 on penalties.

 Tom (@tom_mcghee)

I like the symmetry of it all; 26 years ago we won the FA cup to begin a period of unparalleled success. This nicely bookends it. If only old ham-face had realised ages ago that he’s a bit of a bell (ham-face is being used here to describe LVG, not that time Brett put ham on his face). Still, cup final is a cup final and as any liverpool fan will tell you, losing one 3-1 after being a goal up is horrible. Although hilarious if you’re us and watching them.

The average human male femur only weighs 400gms.

You Only Live Twice (1967)

Firstly, that title: You only live once. It was a meme for ages. Sean turns Japanese (I really think so hashtag only80skids) and it is racist. Cold war shenanigans – again! – as spaceships go missing and everyone’s like ‘wh-whut? send in James, he’ll blend in’. Noteworthy for great names – Kissy Suzuki, Tiger Tanaka and Little Nellie who is actually a helicopter – and the scene that inspired Hank Scorpio. Basically, without this film you’d have no hammock district. Let that sink in. That aside, pretty good.

Prediction: The final that will be second only to Stanley Matthews as Memphis tears it right up. Really good feeling about Memphis this game. Memphis. Wayne to defeat Apocalypse. 3-0 United, Memphis hat-trick.

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 Brett(@ttackattackattack)

According to the FA Cup form books, this game is a nailed on 3-3 draw, cos of 26 years ago innit.

Did I ever tell you that I taught Keith Houchen all he knows? Including: how to write in ye olde English with a felt calligraphy pen? How to maximise the life-span of a goldfish; the correct administration and implementation with regards to their dietary requirements?  The correct use of a pumice stone? And usage per stone? Well, you’re never gonna know, cos Benno posted this preview before I had chance to finis

Prediction: Call me an idiot but this game has got a Tony V left-footed-match-winning goal written all over it. Idiot. 0-0 United. 0-0 United (a.e.t). o-o United on pens. That was gonna be my a joke, but just to reiterate Benno posted thi