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Here’s five things we learned from Europa League qualification:

Swan) We couldn’t keep the wolf from the door, so to speak.

Twit twoo) Louis van Gaal is a fraud. When I mispronounce stuff I just get laughed at but he seems to have made it into a whole career.

Tree-creeper) The whole Fellaini joke has gone on too long. And we know of what we speak in this example.

Caaw) I don’t think losing and drawing games is gonna help win stuff overall. It’s basic numbers, math, new math, pi etc.

Finch) Give it to Pulis.

Signettes) Nick Powell likes us. Knew he bloody would.

Swanagain) Going on dates when your 37, is just like going on dates when you were 17. You arrive on your own and leave on your own.

Eagle) The Universe is burdened with one more infinitely disappointed female person.