(@Benglorious)

Crystal Palace are the first team in Premier League history to have two brothers playing for them. They also hold the record for being the only team in the world to have Alan Pardew as their current manager.

Prediction: More goals than you can shake a stick at, as long as you like shaking sticks at one goal. 0-0 United.

 (@tom_mcghee)

I had to have a belly laugh at the posts from blogs and websites getting giddy that Pep Guardiola, when asked about my Bifurcated column, looked puzzled and asked “Stan Collymore Tom McGhee?” If Pep doesn’t know who I am, that’s absolutely fine, all he needs to do is watch Sky Sports, there’s usually the 4-3 game great Bifurcated Noir series (Liverpool vs Newcastle, 1996) on, or used in adverts. Alternatively, he could always ask Robbie Fowler Paul Ansorge, Liverpool legend and someone I’m sure Pep knows the name of, who his best strike partner was amongst Owen, Rush, Viduka, Shearer, Benno, Brett et al.

Brain Clough. I knew Brian Clough.

X-Factor Final (2016)

Didn’t watch it. That aside, still a colossal waste of everyone’s time.

Prediction: Pardew to drown in his own smarm, several strip clubs go out of business overnight. 2-0 United, Nasri for Rooney.

m 

 (@ttackattackattack)

What is this absolute Auto-Immune Deficiency Syndrome?! We qualified from this Europa League last week and for what?! For this?! Now, in this next round we play some Scottish League sides with made up names?! Who next if we beat Crystal Palace?!! Hearts of Academicals?! Wait. What?! English Premier Lea … Oh.

Crystal Palace are an English Premier League side who we play today in the English Premier League on a middle of the week day which is normally a time of the week that we play Europa League.

Prediction: Shakin’ Stevens to shake things up with a Shakespeare collabo and bring his milkshake to the goals. NOW, THAT’S WHAT I CALL SHAKES!!  0-0 United.