Roonslice’s appetite for records is showing only 50% signs of abating. Titter @ abating.

Juan Mata also ladled himself a tasty slice of goal-stew.

But the guest of honour at the net-bulging banquet was Daley Blind who we’d all love to nosh off.

Here’s 5 learnings you may not have probably not even noticed:

1) Varela looked good. Can’t believe playing a RB as RB paid off.

Owl) Lol @ you trying to say ‘army’, with a blocked nose.

?!£&) Paul tweeted ‘can we play you every week, seriously’. Have looked into it; we can’t. Suggest someone checks Paul’s credentials – he should’ve known this.

3. Fuck off with your offside.

Pussycat) Jog on with your onside.

Fives) Rooney looks almost good now he’s shed the baby weight.

Detroit) Paul’s credentials are solid, just not his football ones.

Gunnery Sergeant) I like winning.