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	<title>Bifurcated Manchester United &#187; Water</title>
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		<title>UCL: United 1 &#8211; 0 Young Boys</title>
		<link>https://bifurcated.co.uk/manchester-united-chitty-chatty/reaction/ucl-united-1-0-young-boys</link>
		<comments>https://bifurcated.co.uk/manchester-united-chitty-chatty/reaction/ucl-united-1-0-young-boys#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 28 Nov 2018 13:52:54 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Us]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Postgame]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Reaction]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Champions League]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Fellaini]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Laughing/Crying emojis]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Lemoyne Raiders]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Marcus Rashford]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mourinho]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Performance art]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Water]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Young Boys]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://bifurcated.co.uk/?p=16523</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The warm up act to Mourinho&#8217;s performance art piece was every bit as exciting as Mourinho&#8217;s performance art piece. Here&#8217;s 5 things we learnzied: 1. Jose knows and can anticipate when a camera will be turned on him; each action is premeditated and deliberate, he is the living embodiment of the showman. Or he was [&#8230;]]]></description>
				<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><img class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-13918" src="http://bifurcated.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/Fellaz-188x300.jpg" alt="" width="188" height="300" />The warm up act to Mourinho&#8217;s performance art piece was every bit as exciting as Mourinho&#8217;s performance art piece.</p>
<p>Here&#8217;s 5 things we learnzied:</p>
<p>1. Jose knows and can anticipate when a camera will be turned on him; each action is premeditated and deliberate, he is the living embodiment of the showman. Or he was just annoyed Marcus missed a sitter. Hard to tell tbh.</p>
<p>2. Man does that guy sure hate water tho.</p>
<p>3. We aren&#8217;t hilariously bad. We can&#8217;t even commit to comedy ffs.</p>
<p>4. The Lemoyne Raiders are an absolute joke of an organisation. How on earth did they survive for so long?</p>
<p>5. They had all LeMoney *4 laughing/crying emojis*</p>
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		<title>The Premier League Water Fall Out Reaches Boiling Point.</title>
		<link>https://bifurcated.co.uk/manchester-united-chitty-chatty/features/the-premier-league-water-fall-out-reaches-boiling-point</link>
		<comments>https://bifurcated.co.uk/manchester-united-chitty-chatty/features/the-premier-league-water-fall-out-reaches-boiling-point#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 04 Nov 2014 12:33:57 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Brett]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Features]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Outside United]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Arsene Wenger]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Becks]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Chris Powell]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Lampard]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Neil Lennon]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Neil Warnock]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Premier League]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Water]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://bifurcated.co.uk/?p=11973</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The Premier League could soon be left drowning its sorrows, as Water threatens to put the freeze on their long standing relationship.   The world was left to drink in the shock waves this week, as images emerged of highly acclaimed, and universally renowned The Premier League manager, Neil Warnock, being left humiliated by a [&#8230;]]]></description>
				<content:encoded><![CDATA[<blockquote><p><strong><em>The Premier League could soon be left drowning its sorrows, as Water threatens to put the freeze on their long standing relationship.  </em> </strong></p></blockquote>
<div id="attachment_12154" style="width: 353px" class="wp-caption alignleft"><img class="wp-image-12154" src="http://bifurcated.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/78734514_neilwarnock_getty-300x168.jpg" alt="" width="343" height="192" /><p class="wp-caption-text">Well, Well, Well: Bottle of water leaves Warnock hanging for the second time in a week.</p></div>
<p>The world was left to drink in the shock waves this week, as images emerged of highly acclaimed, and universally renowned The Premier League manager, Neil Warnock, being left humiliated by a bottle of water, not just the once, but the twice. However, the facts were only just bubbling to the surface&#8230;</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<div id="attachment_11963" style="width: 310px" class="wp-caption alignright"><img class="wp-image-11963 size-medium" src="http://bifurcated.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/B0TjjxAIEAAxrDH.jpg-large-300x168.jpg" alt="" width="300" height="168" /><p class="wp-caption-text">High and Dry: Warnock can&#8217;t hide his disappointment at being left hanging the first time round.</p></div>
<p>When the original picture of Warnock was splashed across front pages and social media in mid-October, it was presumed a one off; something between Warnock and the bottle, but it soon became crystal clear that it was merely a drop in the ocean. The relationship between Water and The Premier League has been heading towards rocky shores for some time.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>It wasn&#8217;t long before evidence of other The Premier League and The Other Leagues high-profile managers&#8217; run-ins with Water resurfaced, highlighting the icy relations between the two superpowers:</p>
<div id="attachment_11983" style="width: 310px" class="wp-caption aligncenter"><img class="wp-image-11983 size-medium" src="http://bifurcated.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/Lennon-300x294.jpg" alt="" width="300" height="294" /><p class="wp-caption-text">Water-Shoot: Neil Lennon kicks some water.</p></div>
<div id="attachment_11982" style="width: 290px" class="wp-caption aligncenter"><img class="wp-image-11982 size-full" src="http://bifurcated.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/01_weng0_280x390_878061a.jpg" alt="" width="280" height="390" /><p class="wp-caption-text">Water-Gunner: Arsene Wenger kicks some water.</p></div>
<div id="attachment_11981" style="width: 320px" class="wp-caption aligncenter"><img class="size-full wp-image-11981" src="http://bifurcated.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/23632.2.jpg" alt="Water-Mark: Mark Hughes kicks some water." width="310" height="245" /><p class="wp-caption-text">Water-Mark: Mark Hughes kicks some water.</p></div>
<div id="attachment_12160" style="width: 310px" class="wp-caption aligncenter"><img class="wp-image-12160 size-medium" src="http://bifurcated.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/Chris-Powell-300x212.jpg" alt="" width="300" height="212" /><p class="wp-caption-text">Water-Powell: Chris Powell kicks some water.</p></div>
<p>It is rumoured that the clouds originally formed over the alliance, when ex-professional footballer John Barnes was secretly filmed, in a busy dressing room while on England duty, claiming that a rival brand &#8220;got to your thirst fast&#8221;, with the implication that they took sport more seriously than Water.  The tension from this video, that went viral at the time, has remained, simmering just below the surface.</p>
<p>Years later and Sepp Blatter stirred up these tensions when he unwittingly reneged on a promise to supply Water with a lucrative contract, after plans he had originally drawn up for the Women&#8217;s game weren&#8217;t seen thru. A spokesperson for Water at the time claiming &#8220;Blatter&#8217;s deal just evaporated; it was all hot air.&#8221;</p>
<p>It isn&#8217;t just managers who have found themselves embroiled in the feud. The Premier League&#8217;s Frank Lampard was forced to leave Chelsea, to save face, when a bottle of water left him hanging live on television &#8211; ironically the particular bottle of water was sponsored by the rival company:</p>
<div id="attachment_11984" style="width: 304px" class="wp-caption aligncenter"><img class="wp-image-11984" src="http://bifurcated.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/frank-lampard-finally-signs-new-deal-to-write-childrens-books.jpg" alt="" width="294" height="483" /><p class="wp-caption-text">Water way to go: Lampard was forced to leave Chelsea.</p></div>
<p>And one of the The Premier League&#8217;s legends, David Beckham, was given no option but to leave the MLS and return to Europe, when American extremist bottles of water singled out the soccer star for some particularly humiliating treatment:</p>
<div id="attachment_11987" style="width: 378px" class="wp-caption aligncenter"><img class="wp-image-11987" src="http://bifurcated.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/Big-Pictures_t_David-Beckham-training-LA-Galaxy-1708c.jpg" alt="" width="368" height="207" /><p class="wp-caption-text">Water disgrace: David Beckham was singled out for some particularly humiliating treatment.</p></div>
<div id="attachment_12166" style="width: 289px" class="wp-caption aligncenter"><img class="wp-image-12166" src="http://bifurcated.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/David-Beckham-Buys-Vineyard1.jpg" alt="" width="279" height="234" /><p class="wp-caption-text">Water-Proof: More proof David Beckham was singled out.</p></div>
<div id="attachment_12167" style="width: 310px" class="wp-caption aligncenter"><img class="wp-image-12167 size-full" src="http://bifurcated.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/Beckham2.jpg" alt="" width="300" height="211" /><p class="wp-caption-text">Water-Front: David Beckham on the front-line of the ongoing battle between Water and The Premier League.</p></div>
<p>The latest fall out is thought to have sprung from leaked documents suggesting The Premier League are keen to tie up a big money deal with the rival company to Water, who now claim to &#8216;hydrate athletes better&#8217;. A water source said, &#8220;The founders, the H Brothers, and O [one half of the entrepreneurial siblings who formed &#8216;Air&#8217;, who was forced to consider personal bankruptcy when faced with the threat of liquidation] are waiting for the Premier League to come up with a solution. Behind the scenes they&#8217;re steaming!&#8221;</p>
<p>Claude O&#8217; Zade: representative of the organisation and family behind the French-Irish competitor was unavailable for comment.</p>
<p>It&#8217;s clear, when it comes to Water and The Premier League potentially navigating these stormy seas, it&#8217;s glass half-empty, not glass half-full.</p>
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