Agent Hobo Chicken Fingerer Welsh Pirlo gave our boys one hell of a gingham pressing today. And as Sparky Marky Mark Hughesy Hughes said, it was totally utterly and thoroughly deserved. So it must be true. Cos he’s as honest as his balls are long.

None of us watched it. Hope that doesn’t ruin Benno’s regular a joke clearly marked as ‘5)’ later on…

Here est ein funf things we learnzing:

Sometimes you can play pretty well, carve out the best chances and still draw a game. Not sure the “everything’s bad” mantra was necessary – we’re not Arsenal.

Luke Cage is very good and I would strongly recommend.

Rooney is very bad but seems to be fulfilling a very niche role of assist-by-default machine.

Dave is allowed one mistake in 3 seasons.

5) Didn’t watch it.

Zecks) Who thinks they’re maverick numberless guy?

Zeeben) Tony M isn’t dead.

Elf) Herrera BOOOOOM!!!! Cos small.