It was abrazos all round but not for Juan Mata, as he proved Mourinho and all the haterz absolutely right by single-handedly destroying all our dreams and ambitions and lives and relationships and worlds and futures and pasts and presents and historys and dreams within two first half-minutes of sheer and unadulterated and crazy and x-rated and madness of the higher than highest order but higher.

Here’s 5 things we picked ourselves up to learn:

*right arrow above ‘soon’ emoji*) It’s Mother’s Day. What happened to Mata’s mum? She was shot in that field and he saw it happen. Red card = emotions, his emotions.

*winky kiss face emoji*) That’s some kind of beautiful.

8) It was not the best time for Mata to play the Fellaini role.

*thoughful face emoji*) I liked the bit where we can’t do emojis.