Canvey Island cds, tapes and vinyl: Paul Gunning
United fan, blogger and good friend of Bifurcated Paul Gunning (@PaulGunning1, The Right Irreverend Blogger) was not being Tobey Maguire by double-bluffing and being all Tobey Maguirey on his avatars and such, when Kirsten Dunst burst on set dressed as The Bifurcated Train. Wait! No! It was The Bifurcated Train dressed as Kirsten Dunst. Wait! No! etc… Whatevs…
The conductor asked him “what it was like being Spiderman and that, and if it got hot in that costume on set?”, then threw the £1 coin off to the side , so Paul could catch it with his spidey-webby-hand thing.
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There was only one train waiting to depart, there was only one destination …
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Canvey Island!
As Paul got off the train at the other end he was shoved towards the car park and the now familiar car-boot sale with the stall, run this time by someone who looked suspiciously like ex-Manchester United and St. Patrick’s Athletic player Paul McGrath! “Ooh” and indeed “aah”.
As is the format with this twisted nonsense, the character has a message: “Welcome to Canvey Island cds, tapes and vinyl. I’ve got to shift all these for a friend of a friend after a miscommunication over some blah-blah-blah, anyhow, won’t bore you with the blah-blah-blah, this surreal blah-blah-blah, puts people off visiting this site as it is … We have every single ever pressed or recorded in stock, and at 5 for £1, you can enjoy picking your 5 favourites of all time?!”
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… and this is what Paul picked and why (in his own words) …
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Sad Eyed Lady of the Lowlands by Bob Dylan
“I could’ve picked Bob Dylan songs alone, and still struggled to choose just five. For me, Bob Dylan is more than just a singer/songwriter; he’s royalty. Actually, he’s more than that. He’s as close to a prophet as it’s possible to be. In fact, I think he may be an actual prophet.
The Bob Dylan song I happen to have chosen as the one I’d take with me to Canvey Island reflects the mood I was in at the time. It just so happens I was feeling a little melancholy. So, here we are.
There’s an aching, other-worldly mystery about this track that puts it on an altogether different plane to most human endeavours.
I’ll never be able to quite grasp it; it will remain forever just out of reach. Which is why I love it so much.”
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I Wanna Be Adored by The Stone Roses
“Is there a better, more powerful opening to an album than this?
Before you bother racking your brains, let me save you the trouble.
No. There isn’t. It’s the perfect introduction to a musical experience that ever existed. If it fails to move you, and make you feel alive, you must already be dead.”
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Prodigal Son by The Rolling Stones
“I wanted to include a blues track. But there are so many, and I couldn’t pick between the likes of Robert Johnson, Howlin’ Wolf or Sonny Boy Williamson.
So I ended up going for this. It’s a blues track written and performed by The Rolling Stones, a white band, but I bloody love it and, out of all the white bands that have attempted the blues, over the years, the Stones are up there.”
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All Tomorrow’s Parties by The Velvet Underground
“The Velvet Underground had to be included in this list.
Why?
Because they’re probably the best band of all time. And that’s saying something, considering all the great bands that have made our lives liveable over the years.
Again, I could’ve picked any number of their tracks.
I chose this one because that’s how I happened to be feeling the time, and because, for me, there isn’t a more atmospheric, gut-wrenchingly powerful song known to man.”
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Song No. 5
“This is the most difficult track to choose. Think about all the great bands, artists and music that have enhanced your life over the years. Then imagine having to choose between them.
Exactly. Not possible. So you have to go with your mood. Hence, my final choice is…
… Angeles by Elliot Smith
For me, this is as close to musical perfection as it’s possible to get. It never fails to move me, despite my having listened to it thousands of times. There’s a haunting, other-worldly quality to it, and Smith’s vocal never fails to bring tears to my eyes.“
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Just before Paul headed back to the platform the Paul “look-a-like” stallholder pointed him in the direction of the old abandoned book stall and asked him to pick out a book, for free, for the journey home.
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… And Paul picked …
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On The Road by Jack Kerouac
“It was a hell of a difficult decision, choosing between this and Leo Tolstoy’s ‘War and Peace’ (and I’m not being pretentious; that really is in my top three books of all time).
Yet I’m a sucker for a road-trip, being a traveller at heart, and they don’t come any better, or more life/mindset-changing than this.
I defy anyone with a soul not to read this book and feel more alive as you turn the final page.”
And then we dropped Paul off back at his place, but not before discussing the serious plot flaws in the recent adaptation of The Great Gatsby – for no good reason. *side of nose tap*
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Remember, you can follow Paul on Twitter here > @PaulGunning1
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Or visit his blog here > The Right Irreverend Blogger
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To submit your own five favourite singles of all time and take part in our nonsensical train trip thing, email us at:
hello[@]bifurcated.co.uk
