United vs Stoke
Water-Mark: Mark Hughes kicks some water.
Benno (@Benglorious):
Feeling better about myself tonight after missing out on the weekend’s shenanigans in Manchester. This is purely down to Tom telling me “it was the worst weekend ever…. You’d have hated it… The football was rubbish… That Rantcast fella is a nasty piece of work”. Thanks, mate.
Stoke are the visitors to Old Trafford tonight (note to self: find out how long games have been played at “night” and how they solve the problem of “darkness”) and I’m actually allowed to stay up late and watch the game thanks to me getting all my homework done. Only joking; I haven’t done any of it.
NEVER MIND ANY OF THAT, I JUST CAME ACROSS THIS ABSOLUTE CORKER WHILST DOING WHAT PASSES FOR RESEARCH ON THIS WEBSITE:
Megalolz at “smart”.
Prediction: Despite public backing from the biggest music star of raps in the history of all things musically rappy, Stoke will be no match for a United team looking to seal their fourth consecutive win. Robin will start us off with an early goal as he out-jumps Will Smith at the back post and rifles a header into the net. Rooney has been going from strength to strength of late, and he’ll continue this tonight by bursting through the back three of those guys from the Black Eyed Peas who aren’t the lady, before calmly chipping the keeper for United’s fully deserved second. The third and final goal will come as a direct result of a mistake from Debbie Harry in “Rapture” and Falcao will score easily with his first touch of the ball after coming on as a substitute. 1-0 Stoke.
Tonight’s spotlight falls on Marcos Rojo. United’s new Argentinian likes nothing more than trampolining, Whit Sunday and collecting grandfather clocks with animal carvings on them. He dislikes fly tipping.
Tom (@Tom_McGhee):
United to win, unless they don’t. Erm, what else would he say? Plumbing.
Brett (@bifurcated_mufc):
Stoke pre-match notes:
*Do a joke about stoats and weasels being stoatally different and weasely whatever it is. That’ll be brilliant. End it with something about thinking “they’d” said ‘Stoat’, not ‘Stoke’.
*Something about Robbie Williams. Strong.
*Something about Stoke pottery. Tight.
*Find out what ‘pottery’ is
*See if there are any Stoke jokes worth copying and improving on from Benno from last season. LOL. As if. Nice one.
*See if there are any jokes worth copying from ToHahahahaha. Don’t bother.
*If you don’t get time to come back to this, remember to set an autosave without these notes.
*Love you.
*You’re the best.
Prediction: *Something about Stoats playing themselves on a cold Tuesday night in Stoat.
