EL: Zorya 0 – 2 United
I had to write out 200 words from a WhatsApp convo, so you can suck on your disappointment if you want me to write anything else apart from here’s 5 things we learned from the Europa League glory: 1) Hards pitches equals wins. 2) Cement over Old Trafford pitch. 3) ?????? 4) Profit. 5. […]
EFLC: United 4 – 1 West Ham
It was GGMU x Ghost of Fergie x Swashbuckle, as the mighty half dark Reds half light Reds gave the West of Ham one hell of a HAMMERing!** United IRONed** out the crises (creases) in their match day output (outfit), as Zlatan HAMMERed** in a couple, and Tony M HAMMERed** in two also. Elsewhere, Micky […]
EL: United 4 – 0 Feyenoord
When Jose Mourinho took the bold decision to throw £30m European Player of the Year 2015/16 Henrikh Mkhitaryan into the starting XI against one of Europe’s averagest clubs, in one of the meaninglessest competitions, few could have envisaged winning the Champions League, F.A Cup and English Premier League Treble, on the very same night!! GGMU!!!! […]
United 0 – 0 Burnley
Another day, another 0-0 thrashing dealt out by the Mighty All Blanks! Looking forward to us introducing the Daba before matches, to psyche out opponents. Jose genuinely proved how much he genuinely cares about football by getting himself genuinely sent to the stands for being genuinely angry about the football he still genuinely cares so […]
Hull City 0 – 1 United
We haven’t witnessed scenes like this at the Cake-Con Stadium since ‘Cake-Con ’03’ and the scenes with the cake and the scenes. In. Cred. Ib. Hull. Scenes. That’s mine. You can use that to make new friends in awkward social situations. Aka Brett’s life. Rashdawg utilised a loophole in matchday squad/substitution administration to circumvent Jose’s ageist […]
United vs. Southampton
“Johnny Three-Names pulls aside the beaded curtain of uncertainty” Benno (@Benglorious) Sticking to our weird, recent theme of not doing our previews half an hour before kick off means that I actually have time to do some research for tonight’s (actually tomorrow’s (no, I’m not a time-traveller (or was I?).) game) – It’s Friday. Jesus died […]