Newcastle

People of Newcastle: Spuggy, Spender, Cheryl Cole, Sting, we gave your boys one hell of a drawing. Roonslice rolled back the tyres to provide a glimpse of a pre-dollshair action hero we always loved. Can’t believe you lot were so fickle tbh. Here’s 5 things we learned as we stretch our unbeaten run to some […]

m  Benno (@Benglorious) “We’re not evolving. We’re not going anywhere.”   Prediction: Ashes to Ashes. 0-0 United.    Tom (@tom_mcghee) “We can beat them, just for one day.” Prediction: Hallo Spaceboy. 0-0 United.   .  Brett(@workagaininnit) “I don’t know where we’re going from here, but I promise it will be boring.” That’s funny co Prediction: Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes: 0-0 […]

What a game. I didn’t see it.

  m  Benno (@Benglorious) Think I should just put the Photoshop away for a bit.  0-0 United.     Tom (@tom_mcghee) Just carry on to read Brett’s. Nothing to see here.   m m   Brett (@ease) We’re hopefully coming to the business end of the business. Will we? Won’t we? How long will it last? How […]

Multiversity is an ongoing DC comics series (by now it may have stopped, I’m not sure) written by Grant Morrison. Every month sees a loosely tied around a seemingly haunted comic book. Footballiversity and the various numbered Footballiverses are a shameless rip-off of the comics device (found elsewhere too, of course) of using parallel universes […]

m  Benno (@Benglorious) Here we are again:  La pièce de résistance.  Così fan tutte.  Bodas de sangre.  Céad míle fáilte.  Vorsprung durch technik.  The meanings of all these phrases were lost with the destruction of Atlantis, but they still evoke feelings and stuff, sometimes towards football.  It’s been a long season, and it’s one I’m definitely […]

Thought for the day: #therewillbehaterz

Benno (@Benglorious) After Saturday’s resounding victory over the Manchester United of Newcastle, tonight sees Vangle’s boys take on their lesser-known neighbours, the FC United of Manchester of Newcastle: Newcastle. FC United of Newcastle have struggled for the last couple of games ever since Kevin Keegan stopped being their manager all those years ago. The current […]

Tom (@Tom_McGhee): I haven’t done one because I don’t work on Jesus Birthday but I’m sick of these two putting words in my mouth something something Optimus Prime something Star Wars something Nasri for Rooney. I don’t know why this is in bold band massive. Prediction: Font changes back to…smaller….Some goals are either scored or not scored […]

Ben (Benglorious): Sunderland are the only team in the Premiership that use the full “A.F.C.” in their name.  Apart from Arsenal when they shorten their name and say the whole thing as an acronym.  Or Aston Villa when they both acronym (verb?) their name and drop the “Villa” bit.  And West Bromwich Albion when they […]

Ben (Benglorious): Newcastle, as far as I’m aware, does not have a new castle.  Nowhere does.  Castles haven’t been built anywhere for hundreds of years [<<check this].  It should, therefore, be called ‘Oldcastle’.  However, I’m pretty sure it doesn’t have an old castle either [<<check this as well], and seeing as there isn’t a name for […]