Postgame

Did you ever hear the best-selling, blockbuster movie story about the basket of all the disappointment that we sucked on after Wednesday 24th May 2017? No. Well, we’ve copyrighted it. And our lawyers are completing their online lawyer course. So, bite our bangers. Here’s 5 things we learndured: 1. Rooney still has a lot to […]

Despite our best efforts over the previous 75 games, we have finally (finally is another word for Fellaini) made it to the final (final is another word for Fellaini) of the Europa League. United’s Europa League campaign = Derren Brown’s infamous Russian Roulette trick. But with us preferring the chamber was full of live rounds. […]

Losing 2-0 is worse than drawing 1-1, which is a little better than drawing 0-0, but it’s much better when we win 2-0. Here’s 5 things we learned, aside from Danny Welbeck is a massive traitorer: 1. Didn’t watch it as was cleaning up dogshit. 2. Which was actually preferable. 3. I did watch it […]

Yung Rash = Paul Daniels. Pretty smalltime of Jose Mourinho to call us out on international TV for never actually managing to highlight 5 things we’ve learned imho. Here’s 5 things we learned, just for Jose: 1. Marcus Rashford is the future of everything (Orange lied to us). 2. Lovely touch having the A-Team playing […]

Jose Mourinho has turned drawing into an art form, and yet we all know that the definition of art is: A man or woman reading a book, to a deaf toy. I’ve forgotten my point.     Here’s 5 things we learned at the weekend: 1. We’re shit. 2. I cannot adequately express the rage […]

Another game and another drawing to death of the opposition. And football. M0-0urinho more like. Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. 0-0 is half as good as 1-1. 2. See 3 and 4 for Tom’s thoughts on Fellaini. 3. More like Maro can you leave our football club Fellaini !! 4. But seriously he is […]

It was a triumphant return to the team for Skipper Roo: assisting all United’s attacking endeavours in his own unique way i.e delicate first touch and pace. His goal quite literally could not have been claimed by and credited to anyone else but our loveable Roondawg. Here’s to another 251!! Here’s the 5 things we […]

Another victorious victory at the half way stage of the Europa League tournament; only 743 matches to play until the final, which the players will be relieved to know is only played over 5 legs. Hashtag Rash is Life 4 Life yo! Here’s 5 things we Europa learned: 1. Rasherz with the R3 manoeuvres made […]

Before the game the naysayers were all like: “They can’t compete!” “There’s no way they’re going to get anything from this!” “The line-up isn’t good enough!” “Not strong enough!” “The great days are long gone!” “Blah-Blah-Blah” “Clown-shoes!” “Etc!”… And then we set the internet on fire with a another a great a joke. There was […]

Choo! Choo! Like a European express train made of not doing enough to kill of matches, with wheels made of draws, and passengers made of draws, pulling into the semi-final station of draws, at platform draws. All are bored (ALL ABOARD!).   Here’s 5 thing we learned: 1. Ghost Rider is in Agents of Shield. […]

Captain. Leader. Legend. Haterz gonna hate, but Fella’s gonna regulate! Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. Goals are good.