Who thinks Evra is no longer all that?
RIGHT! You, you, and you at the back with your two hands up, outside NOW! I’ll be out in a minute to give you a really good telling off. Look at him ——————————————–> You’ve really upset him now. Poor Paddy; you heartless beasts. Look, before you start, left backs are all rubbish at defending, FACT, […]
Danny, the Champignon of the World
Do you like being wrong? I like being wrong. Do you like being wrong? I like being wrong. Love being wrong. Love it. Yeah. It’s great being wrong, isn’t it? Yeah … I like being wrong. Really like being wrong. Really, love being wrong. Yeah. Yeah. Love IT! Yeah, really, REALLY love, love, LOVE being wrong. […]
Can you help us give Michael Carrick a nickname?
Love him or hate him (or have an opinion on him that sits in the expansive area between those two poles), he’s pretty much part of the fixtures and fittings now and it’s become apparent to us at Bifurcated that Michael Carrick has never really had a nickname. It’s Michael Carrick or Carrick. Surely, […]
One Direction
The marketing team behind Professional Goalkeepers Inc. have created an effective viral for their incumbants, which in Lehmann’s terms equates to: A Save = A Goal. Of course the intention isn’t to fool everyone with their speculative propaganda, they are fully aware of their margins, but they know they can take the weak ones, the easily lead and I think it’s our duty […]
Misnomers, Misdemeanors, EPL, O.T: Get Ur Freak On
Oi! Everything! Yeah, you Everything, I’m talking to you … pipe down at the back Something Else and you, Another Thing. Put your hand down, this isn’t an open forum, or ruddy show and tell. Look , Everything just stop happening for a one lousy second … thank you. Okay, now, I was doing this introduction to this post that […]
Filling a slightly Rooney shaped midfield hole with a Rooney peg.
If you were asked to pick a player from the current United squad to duplicate eleven times, and then field in the next fixture, I think you’d be hard pushed not to choose Rooney. Vidic might get a few votes, but the referee would have a job keeping up with play, with the extra luggage […]
Can Becks take us back to the short term future?
Okay, you’re all gonna think I’m a few studs short of a Nigel De Jong tackle and in all fairness that is true a large percentage of the time…BUT wait… He’s free. He’s literally free. He’s something different. He’s still a match winner. He’s still creative. He still has career ambitions. He’s old but Giggsy […]
In SAF we trust.
Although not exclusive to Fergie, we are often treated – especially on Twitter – to the mildly threatening, popular refrain amongst some United fans of, ‘In SAF we trust’. The implication is clear: SAF = God; omnipotent and (since 1986) omnipresent. It’s not literal: it’s a football ‘one liner’, in a similar vein to, ‘United, […]
Fair to Middle Men
As United have apparently stumbled upon their early season lull a couple of months behind the expected schedule (or 10 months early, for those insisting we aren’t going to be having one this season), it’s only natural that collective fingers are prepared, sharpened, pointed, prodded and jabbed violently in the direction of the presumed culpable parties amongst the squad. In ‘failing’ to replace Scholesy […]
The Revolution should be on telly.
I decided after having overheard and engaged in too many conversations, casual chats and unreasonable drunken slanging matches about the money in football, that I was going calculate how much I’ve actually earned in my lifetime. The point being for me that the next time someone inevitably recoils mid-discourse and says, “but, 200,000-a-week that’s more than most people earn in a…(insert appropriate time-frame according to social stratification)” I’d have some actual solid […]
A slightly disjointed thing about Robbo!
Before players were introduced to pasta (how fancy pants!) and vitamin shakes (oh, you’re spoiling us) their diet consisted of lager and whiskey chasers and a half-time fag – so the story goes. The games were, thus, slower, as were the players (although no less entertaining) … this was of course, at least in United’s […]
A Tale of two Owens
Michael Owen’s arrival at United was a kick in the teeth for Liverpool fans. ABUs laughed at the signing of a player considered way past his prime. And that was after laughing at the brochure he had made to parade his abilities around boardrooms up and down the country. Now another Owen, this time an […]