Canvey Island cds, tapes and vinyl: Greg Theoharis
Spurs fan (Boo!) and good friend of Bifurcated Greg Theoharis (@sofalife) who writes the very impressive Dispatches From a Football Sofa was marking some of his student’s coursework when he heard a gentle tap at the window. As he opened the curtains to take a little look he wasn’t surprised to find the Bifurcated Train, because he’d submitted his songs ages and ages ago. (I blame privatisation!)The conductor tossed him a £1 coin and held out his hand to lead him along the window ledge and on to the platform. There was only the one train waiting to depart, there was only one destination …
Canvey Island!
(I often wonder why we chose Canvey Island. I mean it would have made more sense to pick a traffic island in Manchester, what with being a United site and all. Hey ho.)
As Greg got off the train he was politely shoved towards the car park and the now familiar oddity of the car-boot sale with the stall, run this time by someone who looked suspiciously like ex-Manchester United and Spurs player Teddy Sheringham!
As is the copy-and-paste script with this sinister post, the character has a message: “Welcome to Canvey Island cds, tapes and vinyl. I’ve got to shift all these for a friend of a friend after a miscommunication over something or other, anyhow, won’t bore you with the detail, it’s fairly irrelevant to the point of this whole thing. We have every single ever pressed or recorded in stock, and at 5 for £1, you can enjoy picking your 5 favourites of all time?!”
… And this is what Greg picked and why (in his own words) …
For Tomorrow by Blur
“London is one of my great loves and this song captures the romance of city beyond its callousness. Wherever I am, I can always be transported to Primrose Hill where the “view is so nice”. Any song that has a “la,la,la” chorus can never go wrong. Good string section too.”
Proud Mary by Ike & Tina Turner
“As good as soul music can get. If you ever wanted to know why soul grabs you by the balls, this is it. Forget Aretha, Tina is the real Queen of Soul. Shame about Mad Max 3 and Simply The Best.”
Train In Vain – The Clash
“Bitter song with shiny melodies. Punk was never as sweet. Perfection.”
Way Down In The Hole by Blind Boys of Alabama
“Forget Tom Waits, this is how this song should be song. Makes me think of The Wire and that can never be a bad thing. Don’t fancy hanging out in Baltimore much though.”
Oh! You Pretty Things by David Bowie
“You could go on about teenage rebellion and gender-bending here but it’s just a very cool song. Often overlooked when Bowie’s finest are discussed. Makes it better when you discover it for the first time.”
Just before Greg headed back to the platform the Shezza “look-a-like” stallholder pointed him in the direction of the old abandoned book stall and asked him to pick out a book, for free, for the journey home.
.
… And Greg picked …
.
Zeitoun by David Eggers
“I could pick a ‘classic’ but this is the true tale of one man’s ordeal after the madness of Hurricane Katrina in New Orleans. A testament to the human spirit and one of the greatest cities in the world. Go read it. Now! I will be. I’ve got several hours to kill!”
…and then we dropped Greg off, gave him a leg-up, back through the window, and waved a tearful goodbye.
You can follow Greg on Twitter here >> @Sofalife
And we implore you to visit his site >> Dispatches From A Football Sofa
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To submit your own five favourite singles of all time and partake in our slightly creepy kidnapping scenario email us at:
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Also available in the series…
Canvey Island cds, tapes and vinyl: En Lim
[…] Dispatches’ Canvey Island Discs was featured over at Bifurcated this week. Great website, whether or not you’re a Man U fan. Check out my choices here. […]