Arsenal vs. United
m m (@Benglorious) With David Moyes finally proving his Premiership credentials yesterday, Mourinho and Wenger really have a lot to live up to today. I’m hoping for at least two plane banners locked in an aerial dogfight for at least 45 minutes or I want my money back for the Canadian stream I’m watching illegally. […]
United vs Sunderland
Benno (@Benglorious) Sunderland, or the ‘Black Cats’ as they are called for some unknown reason, were founded in 1879 by a teacher, James Allan, who wanted a way to impress the dinner ladies at his school. Bitches love association football team founders who are also teachers. He must have had some success, as his team […]
United 3 – 1 Burnley
If the Universe was truly balanced then RVN would jump up behind Martin Keown like an evil clown on acid every time he opened his mouth. Next time he’s on Match of the Day, I’ll be putting my foot through the telly and sending Gary Crisps the etc… This match played out like the Hallmark […]
Spurs vs United
Benno (@Benglorious) There’s two good things about not having an enforced winter break in the Premiership League: Firstly, there’s lots of games in a short period of time; and twoly, in a short period of time there are a lot of games. Unfortunately, there’s also two bad things about footballs during Christmas: Onely, there’s far […]
Southampton vs United
*No reason . Ben (Benglorious): Last game of the season! At bloody last! Haven’t written this much stuff since that time I had to make a list of Katie Price’s husbands. At least my contract will be finally fulfilled and I can rest my weary bones. I seriously doubt this season thing happens every year, […]
Newcastle 0 – 4 United
The massive contract, the neglecting of the rest of the squad for the whole season, kissing Wayne’s gluteal folds in public view, trying to replace the devil on the crest with Rooney’s face, all worth it, as Moyes finally gets the best 90 minutes out of Wayne Rooney for years. What a joy: Shinji, Juan, […]
United vs City
Ben (Benglorious): For starters, why are they called ‘City’? They don’t have a cathedral as far as I can remember, just a stadium that nobody can spell the name of. Regardless of their glaring misnomer, they’re still a team to fear: literally banging in more goals than West Ham and with far fewer defensive […]
CL: United (3) 3 – 0 (2) Olympiacos
Bifurcated David texted me at the end of the first half to say: That’s my team. *Yeah, no kisses again. Noted.
United vs Liverpool
Liverpool Rob: Usually I steer well clear of Brett’s advances around this peculiarity in the football calendar. If he gets hold of me he asks me out on a date to watch the match, because, well, we’re friends and it doesn’t matter who wins (or loses). This year I’m happy to put that theory […]