Vangle

Suck on your disappointment haterzzz!!! Bangle’s voyz are so back, they’re practically made of backs!! Rashford is so hot right now: cooking bacon. Back bacon, cos of the back thing earlier. And all the other players are serving up some back bacon too, just a little bit less cooked, cos he’s the Head Chef in […]

Someone is going to have to spend the next few years stitching Shrewsbury Town a new goal hole, after Vangle’s Army went absolutely averageish, and ripped them a new one. Actually, they ripped them a new one, so someone should stop stitching a another new one, especially with the payroll capping and demands of these […]

m Benno (@Benglorious) Two wins on the bouncy castle has had far-reaching effects: Donald Trump, everyone’s favourite Sith Lord, got beaten at something in politics meaning he may not become Supreme Overlord of Earth, but the more important “news” was to do with the (only slightly) lesser evil of the only man who still writes actual […]

With heavy heart we bid a fond farewell and wave a tear-stained hanky to the goalless first half feats of yesteryear. Hoping this is merely a blip tbh. Jesse-dawg, Martial-dawg, and Roon-dawg proved themselves to be the swashbuckliest of swasherers, with net-bulging scorings that could shiver the timbers of the mightiest haunted pirate tree on […]

tokyosexwayne  Benno (@Benglorious)   Derby (pronounced Derby) is the UK’s most central city, a great place for a cultural break and a great base to explore nearby Peak District delights. A really friendly place, great value for money and very easy to get around, you’ll feel welcome right from the start, so visit soon and discover Derby for […]

Another resounding anti-win sees Vangle’s Army cement 5th place and move that bit closer to automatic misqualification for the Europaldi League, next season. The philRooneylastminutepenaltyosophy was all set until Charlie Austin powers inI SAID AUSTIN POWERS!!!! I’ve forgotten my point.     Like our beloved United players on the Twits … here’s some learnings we […]

m  Benno (@Benglorious) There were two things Benno loathed more than anything in the world: Talented colleagues and talking about Benno in the third person in a pastiche of Tom’s homage to a parody of that thing he writes occasionally. Wait, that’s three things. Four if you include me. Oh. This isn’t the five things we […]

m  Benno (@Benglorious) To take my mind off the football I’m currently watching Making a Murderer. If this show had been one of those schlocky American 1-hour specials nobody would be talking about it, but spread it out over ten shows on a paid subscription service and suddenly it’s the greatest crime show there’s ever been. […]

People of Newcastle: Spuggy, Spender, Cheryl Cole, Sting, we gave your boys one hell of a drawing. Roonslice rolled back the tyres to provide a glimpse of a pre-dollshair action hero we always loved. Can’t believe you lot were so fickle tbh. Here’s 5 things we learned as we stretch our unbeaten run to some […]

m  Benno (@Benglorious) “We’re not evolving. We’re not going anywhere.”   Prediction: Ashes to Ashes. 0-0 United.    Tom (@tom_mcghee) “We can beat them, just for one day.” Prediction: Hallo Spaceboy. 0-0 United.   .  Brett(@workagaininnit) “I don’t know where we’re going from here, but I promise it will be boring.” That’s funny co Prediction: Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes: 0-0 […]

m  Benno (@Benglorious) “THERE’S ONLY ONE UNITED!!” goes the famous terrace chant, and today the FA Cup proves that football fans are idiots and liars. Things that the FA Cup is yet to prove include: Magic, giants (killed or not) and cup fever. I think we can all agree that the FA Cup has 24 hours to […]