Features

Tom Cleverley is fertile ground for cynics, and it would be reasonable to assert that he’s invited this upon himself in apparently choosing to embrace narcissism where authenticity would have served him better. Cynics are, after all, hopeless romantics with cripplingly high moral and ethical (and mostly hypocritical) standards, that the modern footballer couldn’t possibly […]

I was thinking about an adage that I like: “the problem with going on holiday in order to ‘get away from it all’, is that you take yourself with you.” This is pertinent when we think about football, as football is something we mostly like to think of as an ‘escape’. I was thinking about […]

We sometimes find ourselves saying things like: ‘If only RVP had been available for the derby.’ Or, ‘if only Fellaini was any one of a whole rake of other players who you care to mention.’ Or, ‘if only Ashley Young had legs that fit right, and were on the right way round.’  Or, ‘if only […]

A year ago to the day, I wrote a post inspired by a trip to Spain, ¡Cayendo en la trampa! (Falling into the trap). We’re going there to live next year, so I need to start learning the language, though I’m not anywhere near good enough yet. Luckily my girlfriend is, and she has kindly translated […]

For the first time since Michael Owen, Manchester United are starting a season without a player wearing the number 7 shirt. In the end it took a neat side-step from Antonio Valencia (which is funny, ‘cus he doesn’t do that anymore) to consign the shirt to Albert Morgan’s sewing box for the foreseeable future. There […]

I was asked a couple of years back which other player Danny reminded me of the most and, without pausing for breath, I replied: “Henry” because he did … a little bit. It was met with such unexpectedly high levels of derision that, to save face; to pretend I wasn’t wounded – and that in fact […]

For the past one hundred summers (or thereabouts), the transfer window for United fans has played out like a clever analogy for unparalleled frustration; with nothing remotely central-midfieldy to celebrate. But for a club who supposedly don’t have, haven’t had, or even seemingly got all that close to buying, any one of the best central […]

As I’ve said before, I think most people would probably subscribe to the idea that how much you choose to invest in someone, or something, is personal to you; it’s a reflection of the morals and ethics by which you live your life. Perhaps you don’t have much time for Luis Suarez because you have […]

If football is supposed to be the new religion then consider my allegiance with the church wafer thin. I’m that close to excommunication. My God has offered me very little to be pleased with: scandals, usury, censorship. Worst of all, the church I belong to has disgraced itself more than most. It is embarrassing watching […]

I met David Moyes once – I was working in a hotel as a ‘meeter and greeter’ (though a more accurate description of that job should’ve been, ‘a sounding board for abusive stag group bants and lols’), when inamongst the usual faces, indifferent to my breezy offers of assistance, I spied a very familiar one. […]