Bournemouth 1 – 3 United
Bournemouth were left speechless – GEDDIT?! cos mouth – as Juan Marta – GEDDIT?! cos sub – Wane Rooney – GEDDIT?! cos last 21 years – and Zlatan Ibrahitthenets – GEDDIT?! cos goals – hit them for six divided by two – GEDDIT?! cos maths and idiom*. If the English Premier League stopped right now […]
Bournemouth vs. United
Benno (@Benglorious) Huzzah, the football’s back. It’s been sorely missed what with the lack of an international tournament during the summer as well as no preseason friendlies, plus the Olympics not recognising it as a sport. United have bought a new manager this summer, who in turn has bought some new players, who in turn have […]
United 3 – 1 Bournemouth
Now we’re Twitterfamousers you’d think we’d be too Johnny Big Boots to learn. And you’d be right tbf. Who needs to learn anything when you’re hobnobbing with the Twitterati; drinking pre-mixed Bucks Fizz from posh glasses?! Tell your 3 RT and 5 Like faces to suck on your disappointment. Bite us. But we’re legally obligated […]
United vs. Bournemouth
Benno (@Benglorious) It’s finally the last game of the season. I for one couldn’t be happier that United haven’t got even one more game after today’s clash with Bournemouth, as I’m completely spent after writing in-depth previews for the three hundred or so other matches we’ve played this season. I’m really looking forward to the European […]
United vs Chelsea
Benno (@Benglorious) All those 0-0 predictions I’ve made this season were just a little joke. Except nobody’s laughing anymore. A 0-0 today would be like that one-minute-to-midnight-phonecall-from-the-Governor-to-the-Warden-who-is-stood-by-the-phone-in-the-execution-chamber-but-as-a-metaphor-for-Vangle’s-job-security-not-his-actual-life-hanging-in-the-balance-I-don’t-know-when-to-stop-with-the-hyphens-I’m-gonna-risk-it-with-a-full-stop. Imagine needing a landline as a lifeline lol. I’ve forgotten my point. Prediction: Vangle to STOKE the fires that have long lain dormant in this United side. […]
Bournemouth 2 – 1 United
All this learning is tiring. If we have to learn so much, how come Vangle gets away with it. Must have some candids of the chief of learningdom’s wife. As for the match: that’s now 8 goals in two games like the swashbucklingnessisms you all deserved. And David Savids is catching (lol @ catching) the […]
Bournemouth vs United
Benno (@Benglorious) Matt Damon’s gob or whatever. Not even checking Brett’s to see if he’s already done that gag. I hope he has and I hope he cries. You NEVER make fun of another man’s trainers, even if they are made from seagulls. Which brings us nicely back to Bournemouth who are nicknamed the Seagulls. […]