Bournemouth 1 – 0 United
Are we good or bad? guess we’ll never know. Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. We really are fucking shit 2. Ole started his United managerial career on a wing and a prayer but now his wings are on fire and his prayers have been answered. By Satan. 3. I enjoyed the bits I didn’t […]
Bournemouth vs. United
(@Benglorious) Still think we’re gonna jinx us by doing a preview. Prediction: Halle Berry to win it with a last-gasp header. 0-0 United. M (@tom_mcghee) Born Free >>>>> Jason Bourne >>>>> Jason and the Argonauts >>> Born Mouth Spider-Man: Far from home (2019) Couldn’t enjoy it because of what Scorsese and Coppola said just […]
United 4 – 1 Bournemouth
Starting to think sacking Mourinho was a good idea after all. Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. Pretty sure Rashford’s mum and dad are Maradona and Pele 2. Pele definitely not the dad 3. lol because of his limp member 4. lol
United vs. Bournemouth
(@Benglorious) There’s nothing better than a top of the table six-pointer the day before New Year’s Eve. Except for smart water. That shit is tight. Prediction: Goals for all the players who pooped in Jose’s kettle at the Lowry. 11-0 United. M (@tom_mcghee) I am out of the office until Jan 4th. Please […]
Bournemouth vs. United
(@Benglorious) I am on holiday so suck your disappointment right on its dick. Prediction: Me to ruin my holiday for me (I’m obvs on holiday alone cos me) by constantly checking my phone to see what great a jokes Brett is tweeting tonight. 0-0 United. m (@tom_mcghee) What words? Are we playing tonight? On a […]
United 1 – 0 Bournemouth
1-0 to United. It’s just like the days of Eric. It isn’t. 5 things we learned: 1. Illegal streams leave a lot to be desired. 2. No Last Jedi spoilers McGhee I swear to God I’ll fuck you up. 3. Lips, sealed. But I was shocked to see Han return as a force ghost. 4. […]
United vs. Bournemouth
(@Benglorious) CORAL. It’s not televised. Prediction: 0-0 United. m (@tom_mcghee) Are we on telly tonight? Can’t see it anywhere call bullshit. Blue Planet. It’s why we dressed you as a fish for 6 weeks. Haha I didn’t tell you to do it for the HALIBUT! Prediction: 0-0 United m (@bifurcated_utd) What programme did […]
United 1 – 1 Bournemouth
At Bifurcated we have been lobbying for a long time with the footballerers: it’s such a shame these results aren’t recorded in a table or league format, because by my calculations we’d be sitting proud in 6th place, and the whole world would be saying something about it every day of the week, and every […]
United vs. Bournemouth
(@Benglorious) Spent so much time making the dankest of memes that I can’t do a preview. What a time to be alive. m Luke Shaw match stats: Interceptions – 6 Tackles – 14 Headed clearances – 3 Take-ons – 11 Dribbles – 29 Pass completion – 97% Assists – 2 Goals – 2 Next game […]