Roondog

Football is back here. Fasten your safety helmets, buckle on … Bifurcated is slipping up through the Germaine Grears and turboing the machs to full futuristicism. Peddles to the medals… It’s the one, two (though technically a number), three, four, five, siSIX words you’ve all been waiting all your “Boohoo it’s not like 2014, we’ve […]

BifEUROcated Week Uno Review!!!* *That’s funny cos the middle bit where it says ‘Week Uno’ is in white, so you can’t see what it says. What it says, I guess we’ll never know. This isn’t just a lazy/crass cut and paste of our “best” Twitter bits… It is. Bite us. “I despaired when Brett, who […]

  *Hilarious introduction*    @EchoingQuack (85 year-old teenage girl) – How much longer are you going to keep the whole kooky “ooh there’s four of us” schtick up? feels a bit tired TBH TM: Fuck off cunt BG: Until after either Paul gets the presidency or the rest of us are dead by his hand. BU: […]

Winning cups >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Not winning cups. Here’s the final final five things us learned this season: 1. Hearing rumours Mourinho might be new Manager. 2. Pardew has stolen Ross and Monica’s Dad’s moves. 3. I liked it when Jesse scored the goal that won us the cup. It was like the opposite thing that happened […]

 Benno (@Benglorious) FA Cup Final day is the most important day of the year unless Arsenal are playing. They’re not, so we all dodged a collective bullet this year. Can you actually imagine how big such a bullet, and how big the gun that fired it, would have to be, not even taking into account that everyone […]

Now we’re Twitterfamousers you’d think we’d be too Johnny Big Boots to learn. And you’d be right tbf. Who needs to learn anything when you’re hobnobbing with the Twitterati; drinking pre-mixed Bucks Fizz from posh glasses?! Tell your 3 RT and 5 Like faces to suck on your disappointment. Bite us. But we’re legally obligated […]

What a dramatic Sky Sports send off for Boleyn Park, as both teams played their part in a momentous Sky Sports game brought to you in association with Sky Sports, that should have been fondly remembered by generations of Sky Sports viewers for generations of Sky Sports. Sadly, the game will be remembered for the […]

By the time you read this Manchester City and Arsenal will have drawn 2-2, handing us an opportunity to – despite our best efforts – qualify for next season’s Champion’s League. Imagine that. Jose Mourinho has already said that if this happens he will manage every game, in the 2016/17 Premier League season, in just […]

   Benno (@Benglorious) After being crowned the Premiership League champions earlier in the week, you could forgive our players for having a bit of a hangover for today’s game. You’d also have to forgive them for not playing for Leicester which, quite frankly, is actually unforgivable. Such is life as the French say, except they’d probably […]

If Leicester go on to win the league they’ll remember this day for the hell of a Vangleing they suffered at the hands of Louis Vangle’s Self-Harmy. Guess we’ll never know if they will. Not sure why anyone needs the excuse of arousing Vangle to elbow Robert Huth in the face. Especially anyone who has […]

That was fun. That game had everything. Apart from everything that it didn’t. Give Dave and Tony M everyone elses’ wages. Apart from all the people who have nothing to do with this professional football club. Lol @ professional.       Five things we learned: 1. I liked it when Rooney ran into the […]